Bullying

[sherrardk]

Would you regard the following as bullying (as I am so cross I can't think straight)? Thing 1 (she's 4 but really titchy) came out of school and part of the way home I noticed that the skirt part of her pinafore dress looked shredded (as if it had been dragged over the ground), given that the others were with me I decided to go home and talk about it rather than find out what had happened in the street. Turns out that two brothers (one in her class and one a year or two older) had taken it in turns to punch her, they then pushed her over and dragged her around by her arms and legs (face down) and then they put her on the floor. She told her teacher that they had been mean to her and the teacher told her to stay away from them. Me and himself are going up the school in the morning to see her teacher (and show her the state of her dress!) but I wanted to try and clarify my thoughts. Thanks for any points of view.

[woofgang]

yup, if it happened as you described, that's bullying....to be scrupulously fair to the teacher, if thing 1 just said they had been "mean" the teacher may not have understood exactly what had happened although she should have made more enquiries.

[sherrardk]

The boys in question get in a lot of trouble so I can imagine the teacher is pretty fed up of hearing that they are being mean (although you would have thought that the teacher might have noticed the shredded dress!).

[Smowball]

If they punched her then thats not acceptable at all!!

[marval]

I would most definitely say it is bullying. It needs nipping in the bud, good luck tomorrow.

[Psybbo]

Could your 8 yr old have been aware of this going on and been affected by it? My heart goes out to you

[tonyav]

Most definitely bullying, sherrardk.

[sherrardk]

Hi Sibton, think this is a one off incident (better had be!). My son would have said something if he knew something was going on, he's a lot brighter today now that he has said what's wrong and knows I am not going anywhere.

[tenrec]

Definitely tell the teacher so that action can be taken.

[weecalf]

If its bullying Like you I would be raging and want it sorted ..what I used to do when and thanks be it was very rarely .I would ask the child to tell me again what happened and see if the events tally .We are not saying the child is lying but sometime in explainations its get coloured .Like all schools they will have anti bullying guide line they follow Good luck .I have no time for bullying of any sort but just cover you own back .

[Psybbo]

And yes that is not only bullying but assault

[sherrardk]

I know things like this happen but these boys have a history of being unruly (and nasty). I actually feel sorry for them as they haven't had a very good start in life really but the school knows what they are like and should be keeping a better eye on them and following up on incidents involving them. And I really don't like the thought of the two of them ganging up on thing 1 with a plan of action.

[friedgreentomato]

perhaps approach the teacher and talk it over in a calm manner - it may help to show her the dress.

[sherrardk]

Checked the school's bullying policy and our first port of call is to see the class teacher ASAP. Me and himself will go up the school in the morning (with said dress) and see the teacher (whilst remaining calm and logical). Thanks you for all of your replies.

[Mosaic]

Ask for a meeting with the head, not the teacher.This is important: be seen to be taking notes in the meeting. In the meeting ask for a copy of the school's anti-bullying policy. If it is not available for you ask when it will be given to you.
Show the HT the clothing and tell your child's account - explain that this seems to be an assault that has taken place, and ask what supervisoy staff noticed or did about it. Explain that the nature of the assault is serious enough for the police to be involved, and if you do not feel assured by the HT's reactions then take your notes and your clothing to the police.
This is assault. Bullying too, but assault.

[Mosaic]

Soz = cross-posted with your last post

[sherrardk]

Hi Mosiac, we have decided to play it exactly by the rules (had an incident with boy #1 where I went of the deep end and it didn't really help matters as I hadn't played by the rules). Given the boys' history (they get in trouble a lot but there are home 'issues') I expect the head will get involved straightaway. I do genuinely feel sorry for these boys but they can't treat thing 1 like that and get away with it. They could have really hurt her.

[abstibus]

Poor little mite. How is she?

[sherrardk]

She's tough as old boots this one. Nothing slows her down. Actually, as the evening has worn on and things have gotten quieter I have become quite sad about it. She's 4! She is a little 4 year old and these boys, who are way older in their ways than they should be (through no fault of their own) have singled her out and been so nasty and mean to her. I hope the school act really quickly on this one as I am not a happy bunny. Thank you for asking though, x

[Mojo-Jo-Jo]

I agree with most on here. Follow the school's procedure, but at the same time, be firm. How a school deals with bullying is covered in their ofsted report and they will often deny that it exists in their school at all.
My son was bullied throughout school. Only one of those schools was effective in tackling it. The rest tried to deny it happens and at least one teacher advised that I send my son to Judo classes!
Good luck with it all.

[sherrardk]

Thanks Mojo, the boys have had a Sugar hand dealt to them, but I have to look after thing 1 (she's tough as old boots but she is a tiny four year old). We will play it by the book (it might also get the boys some extra help).