How Would You Feel??

[jd_1984]

A couple plan to wed abroad as part of a 2 week holiday in the carribean with family.
The bride is very excited and is looking forward to her dream day (as many women tend to).
Now, the groom's dad has asked whether the couple mind if he renews his vows to grooms mother at some point during the 2 weeks in the resort. He wants to suprise her on a day seperate to the wedding day.
Groom is impartial but slightly on the side of "that is a really nice idea".
Bride is totally against as it is "our wedding and the guests will be talking more about the romantic gesture by grooms dad"!!

What say you lot??

Should groom politely inform dad that not a good idea? Surely that is his only way of having a harmonious wedding??

[2sp_]

Personally I would be fine with it, as long as it took place after the actually wedding itself (on a different day).

If the bride won't budge, then the groom will have to speak to his father about it. He doesn't want to start married life on the back foot!

[ummmm]

Personally I wouldn't mind but I think generally it should be a big fat NO.

[rockyracoon]

I think it's lovely and wouldn't mind at all (as long as I liked the in laws!) I can understand the bride having reservations though, would she feel the same if it was her parents renewing their vows?

[Connemmara]

Why can't groom's dad do it some other time - he is taking away the euphoria of the wedded couple. IMO

[EcclesCake]

Firstly, I simply do not understand this renewal of vows thing.

Secondly, the grooms father is being selfish and detracting from the MAIN event and trying to cash in on getting all the family together.

[jd_1984]

I think the groom and the bride are going into this with different expectations of the day and what it represents.
For the groom it is the next natural step, a way of showing the world he is commited to this one woman and wants a future with her.
For the bride it is all the PLUS the emphasis and importance put on the day its self. It is "our" day and the guests should be talking about "us" when" we leave for the UK not the big gesture by grooms dad.
You cant start a marriage like this but perhaps it is a shame the bride wont give in as the gesture is very nice.

[Connemmara]

JD - there are 52 weeks in a year - why does groom's dad pick these particular 2 weeks to make his gesture. Don't believe in renewal vows - a load of sh t. He surely doesn't need an exhibition of his love to his wife after so many years. Bride is perfectly correct to stand-down - her and her future hubby have probably planned this for a long time.

[jd_1984]

I think most grooms would be more willing to accept the gesture. It is HIS parents, there wont be another chance at getting loved ones in that kind of setting, possibly ever. That said there are plenty of locations to do it, if he desires the renewal so much.
Most brides (and some grooms) would be so angry at the notion I am sure!!!

[2sp_]

As I've said, I really don't see the problem as long as it's not on the same day.

[Ellipsis]

Even if the bride and groom were lukewarm, this would have potential disaster written all over it. As it is, the bride is against it, so forget it. Simple.

Imagine the groom's mum being "surprised" with something the bride was against, with all the bride's family there on holiday with them. Terrible idea ...

[woofgang]

I find it slightly worrying as a predictor for the future that they cannot talk this out and agree it between themselves....

[FredPuli43]

Agree with Ellipsis. It should be a fleeting idea on the groom's part which should be equally fleeting in its forgetting. It is detracting from the bride's big day. If there's any risk of her looking back at it and regretting it , it should not happen. As it is, she's unhappy now.

[Peter Pedant]

The Dad hasasked if the couple would mind

and the answer is that the couple would.....

[murraymints]

NO NO NO NO NO....this is their wedding day..not to be hijacked....arrange your own renewal doodah dad !!!

[Bbbananas]

If it takes place on a different day to the 'main event' I don't see the problem.
I think the bride is being selfish.

[Jan1957]

I don't see the problem either as long as it's not the same day. Why would people talk more about the renewing of vows more than the wedding? But that is my opinion and if the bride is dead against it then I think they really should go with her wishes. They can renew their vows any time.

[woofgang]

My dear late DH said to me once that he couldn't see why people wanted to renew vows. He said that he never wanted to renew ours as the old ones still worked fine!

[Sharingan]

I wouldn't mind, but you do get a few Bridezillas and if she's unhappy about it and doing the 'It's my big day' thing, then that really needs to be respected.

[LoftyLottie]

I agree with Salla bananas and jd. But then I have never been a 'bride' and the whole idea of being the centre of attention on a 'big day' isn't my style at all. As I see it the guests won't be talking about the renewal of vows anyway because it is going to be a surprise on a day after the wedding that the guests won't know about in advance. Does the bride want two weeks of being the centre of attraction, why can't she be happy for her new mother in law.

I am in the minority I know.

[LoftyLottie]

I also agree that the renewing of vows is absolutely ridiculous.