How Would You Feel??

[jd_1984]

A couple plan to wed abroad as part of a 2 week holiday in the carribean with family.
The bride is very excited and is looking forward to her dream day (as many women tend to).
Now, the groom's dad has asked whether the couple mind if he renews his vows to grooms mother at some point during the 2 weeks in the resort. He wants to suprise her on a day seperate to the wedding day.
Groom is impartial but slightly on the side of "that is a really nice idea".
Bride is totally against as it is "our wedding and the guests will be talking more about the romantic gesture by grooms dad"!!

What say you lot??

Should groom politely inform dad that not a good idea? Surely that is his only way of having a harmonious wedding??

[pixie373]

I would suggest that you and your bride have a chat with all four parents. If your mum is not up for it, you'll know beforehand. And, again, let her parents know, so they also have the choice and nobody is embarrassed.

[LoftyLottie]

Congraluations jd. Don't take any notice of me. I just don't get the whole big 'wedding' thing. I got married on a Monday morning in a registry office, no big reception, just a few drinks at home, and no honeymoon. It suited us.

Do what is best and right for both of you! Have a wonderful wedding and a wonderful two weeks in the Carribean.

[elliemay1]

I wish you had explained that earlier, jd! All things considered it would be best if your Dad postponed it until later. I'm sure he will understand.

[pixie373]

You did say in OP "Bride is totally against..."

[jd_1984]

Thanks all for the advice.
Loftylottie, yes we are very happy which for both of us is a new thing having had bad relationships previously. My mum and dad, funnily enough did the whole registry office, quick sandwich after and that was that. Now look at my dad 35 years on with the planned grand gesture!!
Whatever your view of marriage you can not begin it on the back foot or a chip on your shoulder and I will be mindful of everyone's feelings. Ultimately I just want to take my bride to a place we both love and get married, hopefully with our families all getting along!

[LoftyLottie]

Funnily enough jd, our son and his wife of one year did almost the same as we did. A very low key occasion. They were both of the same mind, neither of them wanted anything different. It suited me because I didn't have to get a wedding outfit or be 'Mother of the Bridegroom'.

Everybody is different

I am glad you have found such happiness. If you were born in 1984 you are one year younger than my son.

[jd_1984]

Yep, 29 Lofty.
I admit that I am not anti-wedding, I cant wait for mine. BUT I am astonished at the price of weddings in the UK these days and the debt that couples and their families are willing to go into to acheive this "perfect day".
We are paying £1400 each for an all inclusive rsort, £1100 for a simple ceremony, minister, marriage documents, champagne, a cake and steel drums - thats it! Then it is back to the pool!!
Our families are paying to come out for the week of the marriage, out of their own pockets, but, we are hoping to negotiate a special rate with the hotel as we are occupying 7 rooms on one booking. The travel agent is optimistic that we may get upgrades too.
So all in all its a good deal for what we want and can be acheived without anybody putting themselves in debt. Those that cant make the wedding are invited to a chineese banquet the week after we retur. No need for a honeymoon!

[LoftyLottie]

Sounds wonderful - I adore steel bands and Chinese food. Are either of you Chinese?

[LoftyLottie]

The holiday sounds fantastic!! I am turning green ;o)

[elliemay1]

Let us know what you decide, jd, and good luck with the wedding.