How Do I Tell My Boyfriend Im Pregnant

[Nay37]

My bf and I have been together 5 and a half years now and he has always said he doesnt want children. I fell pregnant 3 yrs ago bit had an abortion because he was in the middle of his accountancy exams n baby would've been due the day of one of the exams and he said he would've wanted to be at the birth. I have just found out Im pregnant again and am scared to tell him. I dont think I could go through another abortion as I am 38 and this could be my last chance to have another child. I have a 11yr old son from a previous marriage who never sees his father because he doesnt want to know. I dont want to end up alone again with 2 kids. It was hard enough the first time round. What do i do?

[murraymints]

You have to say exactly what you've said here...cards on the table time..you put him first because of exams last time...now he has to consider you , your needs and wants..Good luck xx

[ummmm]

There's no point putting it off. Just tell him. His attitude might have changed over the last 3 years.

[NoMercy]

If he doesn't stand by you, he's not worth knowing.

[Sqad]

You have little choice.......your pregnancy is not going to go away.
I agree with my esteemed colleagues above........bite the bullet and tell him.
If he is not perturbed.... fine. If he is annoyed,then you will have to make a decision.

[ummmm]

Reading your other posts you should think about this really carefully.

BF doesn't want children.
Last October you BF wasn't sure if he loved you.
You suspect BF might have cheated on you.

[murraymints]

Eek! I remember now.....I'd think twice and twice again !!

[ummmm]

You've fallen pregnant twice in the last 3 years with a man that doesn't want children. That's pretty irresponsible.

[Brinjal]

Bf s come and go children are forever. Congratulations to you. Front up and tell him you can't plan a way forward until you do.

[murraymints]

Ummm don't be so harsh...stuff happens...she's feeling bad enough right now...

[ummmm]

It's not harsh, it's fact.

[murraymints]

But not helpful ! :-(

[pixie373]

Presumably it's him that's got her pregnant, so maybe he should have used contraception or had a vasectomy if he was that sure. It takes two.
Nay, you might well need to choose between bf and baby. All you can do at the moment is tell him and make sure he knows you want the baby. Good luck x

[Old_Geezer]

Not sure there is much I can add.

Yes you have both been irresponsible, not that, that helps now but probably good to acknowledge that for the future.

If you do not want an abortion don't feel pushed into it. If you decide to have the babe then the choices are as you lay out, convince your partner this is a permanent relationship to get him to accept his responsibility and work to make this... well work. Or to accept he isn't going to and accept your role as a single mother for a second time as a consequence of past action or inaction.

As for telling him, you just have to say you two need to talk and... well just tell him as you have told us. You can't avoid that, you just have to take a deep breath and do so.

Best of luck with the outcome.

[4getmenot]

amazes me the amount of blokes that are so sure they dont want children yet why dnt they have the snip.

[ummmm]

Because the responsibility tends to lie with the female. Unfair but true...

[Baldric]

You know the score with this guy, yet you're pregnant for the second time in 3 years, do you really think he's changed?
Good luck.

[Prudie]

In the first instance it's what you want irrelevant of your BF, sit down and think do I want another baby even it meant being alone? Make that choice first and quickly.

[anneasquith]

use more effective contraception. I wonder if you have always thought he may change his mind.?

[ummmm]

I hope murraymints comes back to tell other posters to not be so harsh!

[Canary42]

You had an abortion just because he was worried that the baby might have been born on the day of his exam - doesn't sound like he's displaying the sort of maturity to raise a child.

YOU go ahead and have the baby, dump Mr Selfish if he doesn't like it, and make a new life for yourself, you're not alone if you've got two children. I would love to have had children but it was not to be.

Good luck.