ChatterBank13 mins ago
My Husband Cheated Before We Got Married?
46 Answers
I found out recently my husband cheated on me 5 years ago. we have been married for 3 years. I found out by snooping in his emails he never deleted. He had sex with her 3 times. I know this was a long time ago but im just finding out. Im so confused and hurt. I dont know how to feel about this. should I ask him about it or just let it go?
Answers
I would let it go - however I will answer you with a question. Why were you snooping? Are things not good between you?
20:34 Mon 01st Dec 2014
Why were you looking at his emails from five years ago? Has he given you cause to mistrust him recently? The fact he married you and not her could indicate it was a 'fling' before he settled down -was she a previous girl-friend/partner? It would be difficult to start that conversation 'oh by the way I was checking out your old emails and...' Check out this woman's Facebook page and see if your OH is one of her friends?
5 years is an awfully long time ago.
If he's been faithful since, you should let it go.
If you're reading his stuff, it suggests you think he's doing it again, however the way you are going about it is wrong imo.
People are entitled to a private life, even if they are married and you shouldn't be going through his personal stuff.
The trouble is, we could say let it go and you might agree, but I don't think you will.
Have it out with him if you want, or forget it, but genuinely forget it.
Harbouring stuff like this when you don't want to could easily kill your marriage and he would never know why. I don't think you want that.
If he's been faithful since, you should let it go.
If you're reading his stuff, it suggests you think he's doing it again, however the way you are going about it is wrong imo.
People are entitled to a private life, even if they are married and you shouldn't be going through his personal stuff.
The trouble is, we could say let it go and you might agree, but I don't think you will.
Have it out with him if you want, or forget it, but genuinely forget it.
Harbouring stuff like this when you don't want to could easily kill your marriage and he would never know why. I don't think you want that.
I never really understand why people find snooping in emails and phones so awful- if there was nothing to hide it might be an issue but in this case, as so often, there is something to hide - which is just making a mug out of the snooper. Minelle I can understand why you're hurt, it all depends on whether you can forget about it without saying something - otherwise it might eat away at you.
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We've all got a past - let it go. Maybe he considered things casual then and didn't think your relationship would end up in marriage at the time. Now it has, he's obviously made a decision to put you before all others by going down the aisle.
If he's cheated since marriage, that's a different matter entirely.
If he's cheated since marriage, that's a different matter entirely.
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