So Sorry To Bother You All But.....

[Smowball]

I need some impartial advice. I'm getting opinions,left right and centre and I can't think logically . To cut a really long story short I ended up spending most of last night on the phone and is endless txt messages to my one son who Is always in trouble and tbh needs counselling in my opinion. He has been in prison, can be very violent and has such extreme mood swings that he scares me. He has a 4 yr old daughter who lives with mum and he speaks to daily on phone and sees every week. He is in and out of work and it's all a nightmare. Mr smow is away on business at the mo. Son ends up ringing me last night as he was having a bad day and he basically pleaded to come bk and live with me temporarily . We are three hours apart. He has tried living with me twice as an adult and both times ended badly. If I say yes then hubby will go absolutely mental. But I've got my child on the phone literally crying his eyes out as yet again he has got his life into a right state. Yet it's like Groundhog Day . I've been here and done this. I've offered advice and help to him all Eve and yet all he keeps saying is he wants to come home. He is 22.

[anneasquith]

So he's out of prison now ?

[murraymints]

to be honest Smow..this is best left to the professionals.... a bit of tough love is needed..you have too much at stake...

[ummmm]

Anne...have you read the thread?

[anneasquith]

Probably getting confused. S says he was arrested yesterday ?

[Smowball]

It's so complicated I'm confusing myself! He and 4 yr old and mum went swimming and had lunch. It turns out she was then planning to move and not tell him so blocked all calls. He didn't know this and thought something was wrong so waited two days and called police to see if they would check things out . She then bizarrely tells them he's threatened to kill her on Friday night - not realising the leisure centre CCTV has them all swimming and sitting outside on bench laughing . Which police seem to accept after having him in a cell for 8 hours. He has been released now. I've told him to get legal advice and go to his doctor tomorrow and be totally honest with them.

[jourdain2]

That sounds as if you have done the very best you can for now, Smow. Go to bed, put it away (determinedly - read something silly and funny) and go to sleep. When you wake, remember the advice you have been given and take a good, clear assessment. :) xx

[mazie]

You'll make the right decision Smow. You try and sleep and look at it again tomorrow xxx

[Smowball]

I know xx

[Smowball]

He's done nothing to his own child.

[anneasquith]

Maybe not his own child but a 5 year old and trashed a flat ?

[Smowball]

Yes I totally agree Anne - I was just clarifying it wasn't his own child, though that's no excuse whatsoever.

[anneasquith]

I know.

[Smowball]

He didn't almost kill him!! He grabbed him by the neck for a few seconds which is still utterly unacceptable and totally wrong .

[bunkmoreland]

"he grabbed him by the neck for a few seconds" That was his reaction to a child, whose mother had actually caused the problem! He needs help smowball! Not a mother's,but someone who can take a step back.

[Smowball]

Bunkmoreland I think you're confused re the situation - it's complicated.

[bednobs]

good luck for tomorrow