Looking After Grandson

[malagabob]

What problems could I/We encounter if I/We came to an agreement with my grandsons mother/father, and all parties were happy for us to permanently look after our grandson. We are elderly but fit.

[Islay]

Firstly I would get something in writing - how old is the child?
Are you going to claim the benefits you are entitled to?
Are they going to pay you maintenance?
Are the Social services involved?

[albaqwerty]

what ages are you/wife/grandson?

Is this to stop him going into a care home?

[ummmm]

Permanently as him living with you? Or while they are at work?

[jno]

well, to be blunt, early death; it does happen to the elderly and even the fit. Not right now maybe but say in 10 years - what exactly would happen then?

Aside from that - if everyone's happy, go for it; families have done this often enough in the past. You might occasionally need to get the actual parents to fill out forms. I can't think of any major legal obstacles, but others might come up with some.

[maggiebee]

Think you need to think about this very seriously. I too am very fit but there's no way I would take on my grandchildren full time (unless it was an absolute emergency of course). Children are both tiring and tying and can also be very expensive. Islay has mentioned some points you really need to think about.

[Peter Pedant]

none so long as everyone knows that their duties are

(one of my many 2nd cousins was brought up by his grandmother ( my great aunt - no not the one who had 22 brothers and sisters in law- another one) and that was 1935!

one of my colleagues did it thro a lawyer and then later adopted the child - ( mother drug addict)

[hc4361]

If it is intended that you should be the decision maker re medical treatment, schooling and so on the agreement should be formalised.

Great information here:
https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-someone-elses-child

[malagabob]

We are late 60s Granson is 8 Own our own home. Money is no problem so claiming any benefits is not an issue. No there is no threat of a care home. Live with us permanently Get him into our local school, register him without local surgery etc.

[ummmm]

And what if they want him back?

[Peter Pedant]

I would go for it MB
you seem to have a clear idea of what is involved
and good on you !
not many people have well-trained grandparents

[Peter Pedant]

// And what if they want him back?//
this has to be discussed - hence the formal agreement
foreseeing something like this is hardly rocket science....

[Voltage]

probably to personal to answer but why do you want to look after him?

[Islay]

You say that money is not a problem - I am assuming that you are retired - you should look into child benefit and tax credits or UC as it is now (in some cases)
You need to make sure that this is formalised

[albaqwerty]

maybe the parents have some sort of problem Volty

oh, and being in 60's isn't elderly these days.

[trt]

## We are late 60s Grandson is 8 ##

So when he is 14, you will be approx in your 70s.
No disrespect, but you are to old, but good luck if you do!

[Peter Pedant]

No they arent ! ( too old)

one of my contemporaries ( 1970s) was 18 when his father was 88
The dad was an indestructible Great War general - brain never worked but clearly his pelvis .....

[Smowball]

I was going to ask the same as Voltage - why do you want to look after him permanently? Do you have concerns for his welfare?

[Mamyalynne]

Do your research as others have said and then make your decision - the pitfalls will be the same as bringing up your own child but as you know you get the joy too.


Good luck.

[EDDIE51]

As said you may be fit now but by the time he leaves school you will be almost 80, then you still won't be finished caring for him as he will probably go on to University. It needs careful thought, you are going to be over 80 before he is fully independent and working.

[hc4361]

Where does the boy want to live?

Don't let your age put you off but if you do go ahead with the plan, formalise it so that you are the legal guardians - if you don't there will be difficulties with registering him for school, granting or denying medical treatment and taking him abroad - and claim every penny you are entitled to. Children are expensive.