Marriage Help Please!

[scruffbag]

Hi
I have been married for 27 years and have recently moved house to a different part of the country.
We have been extremely happy, but on Monday evening when I had experienced a bad day at work, I came home and got drunk, took a sleeping tablet, went off to bed and was verbal to my husband, by telling him ‘ I would take him for every penny he has got, if he ever had an affair!’
I am extremely ashamed of what I said, but the pressures I have on me at the moment weigh me down on a daily basis.
My husband has taken this extremely badly and life is difficult at the moment!
Please help me!
Many thanks
,

[johnk]

Ever thought of packing in work? Talk about it with your husband, see what he thinks.

[kvalidir]

Crikey Squad, if someone can sulk for 6-8 weeks over something as trivial as this then they need good old fashioned ' kick up the rear therapy'- do people seriously do that? I couldn't stand that and would leave anyone flat who dragged out the misery of a row for that long because that's unhealthy surely?

[waterboatman]

Can't argue with that kval. It's a throwaway isn't it!

[murraymints]

oh for goodness sake...after such a long time..he needs to just take it for what it was..a mistake...

[Sqad]

Kvali

"do people seriously do that?"

Yes some people "really" do that.....for weeks, months, years and occasionally forever.
It takes ALL types and there are other ways in which you can show your annoyance, not only by sulking.

There is much more to this......just happened to have sleeping tablets available eh?

[waterboatman]

Once again nice one sqad. :o}

[Islay]

look all you can do is apologise explain you don't know why you said it and ride it out.
If your husband can't see it for what it was - a mistake - then perhaps he needs to relook at your relationship.

[murraymints]

and for once I agree with Islay ...just move on..

[murraymints]

ps Sqad..the toothpaste lid is back ...

[ummmm]

It is a bit OTT for 1 drunken comment.

[douglas9401]

I think both should be given the benefit of the doubt as to their soundness of mind, y'know, mental health issues.

It's the modern way.

[JJ109]

The advice to scruff is easy - apologise and move on.
The advice to scuff's husband is not as easy.
Assuming he has always been faithful in the past after TWENTY SEVEN years he finds out not only that his wife doesn't trust him not to have an affair. (Although she is not accusing him this time, she is admitting that she thinks he is capable of having one), and that she will also be vindictive, not letting 27 years of a solid relationship mean anything if her feelings are hurt. Alcohol is no excuse. It is a HORRIBLE thing to say. His feelings count for nothing.

I would expect a partner of twenty seven years to understand how I react and Mrs Scruff has totally ignored his feelings.

Yes the only thing that she can do is give him time to get over it - but his feelings and trust in a 27 year relationship have been pole-axed. This is NOT trivial.

[MallyJ]

The difficulty is that these types of drunken insults are simply not forgotten. I think that you can apologise for your behaviour but , from experience, these types of insults are not forgotten. The edge wears off with time but the content will be there for ages. How you deal with that is probably to give it time for the upset caused to settle down and carry on from there. Hopefully things will improve between you.

[Khandro]

I'm afraid I'm with sqad 100%. You can apologise, but you cannot erase what was said from the other's memory;

'Three things cannot be retrieved:

The arrow once sped from the bow,
The word spoken in haste,
The missed opportunity.'

[anneasquith]

I wonder if the op thinks her oh has/ is being unfaithful ?

[Patsy33]

I hope you can sort this, I really do. You both need to sit down, and have a frank discussion of what is troubling you. When you're both relaxed that is...

[yogi-bear]

They have had a bit of trouble in the past, husband just lost his parents, but doesn't really excuse his behaviour, in my opinion.

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Relationships-and-Dating/Question1399242.html

[AZ73]

Give him a surprise Gift/greeting card with rose and apologize for your harsh behavior. I hope he will forgive you.