Confused With Decision

[HappyPriya]

I brokeup with my boyfriend as my parents were not accepting our marriage But deep inside I had a thought that he was not responsible as partner to get married. He loves me and we were having plans for marriage. I had guilt that I couldn't convince my parents and get married to him I was healing myself and within one month of span after break-up he started calling my friends family and asking them to speak to me to marry him. He told all Private and personal things about our relationship to them and one day he sends our private photos to my bro and dad saying I slept with him. I filed complaint as he was not at all stopping from blackmailing my family I don't know what to do but I am not able to stay without him I need him I planned to marry and have future together. I don't know what to do I feel this life is waste without him .

[Bobbisox1]

Are you in the Asian community Priya, was it an arranged marriage ?

[MallyJ]

It sounds to me as if he has decided what he wants ans no matter what problems it causes you he will try his best to get you back. I am appalled at the tactics he is using to get you back. Telling your personal life to friends and family? Sending private pictures to your father and brother and then tellking your family you slept with him suggest very strongly he is trying to control you and this type of behaviour can be very dangerous for the person some man is trying to control. It is called coercive controlling behaviour and in the UK it is totally illegal. I would not want anyone involved with a man like this and certainly not married to him. Think very carefully...because the impression I have of him is that he could be dangerous.

[Old_Geezer]

From what you have said, he does not seem a good choice of partner for you. Ignore him unless you can bring the police in to stop him. Maybe he'll get fed up and stop eventually. You do not need anyone like that. Look for someone whose actions suggest they are worthy of your consideration.

[AuntPollyGrey]

Do you really think your life will be better than it is now, by marring a man who will stoop so low as to show intimate photos to your family and basically blackmail you? Please drop him like a stone and forget about marriage, get a career .

[tiggerblue10]

You still trust him after all the things he has done? I certainly wouldn't. You've put in a complaint against him so you need to draw a line under it and move on.

[HappyPriya]

@Bobbisox1 He was my boyfriend, my parents were not agreeing for our marriage. I'm from India its not arranged marriage

[MallyJ]

I think your parents are correct and I also think they are trying to protect you from a very very unpleasant chap.........please move on and make sure that you leave him behind .....

[pixie374]

You can do much better than this. Give yourself some time and space, focus on other things and you will see it yourself with a bit more distance. Best wishes x

[elliemay1]

//I don't know what to do I feel this life is waste without him .//

I think it would be so much more a waste with him. IMO he is a waste of space. You deserve so much better. You are lucky to have such caring parents who only want the best for you. Just wondering what age are you and have you had many boyfriends in the past?

[Bobbisox1]

Thanks for your answer Priya, I agree with all the answers here, move on, you don't want that kind of person for a husband, he didn't respect you by doing what he did, good luck

[HappyPriya]

@elliemay1 - He was the only one person I dated since 10 years. I'm 27 now

[jno]

you do not need a blackmailer. Nobody does.

[andy-hughes]

HappyPriya - Because this snake is your only experience thus far of romance, it is very easy to think that this is now romance is supposed to be, and he is the only man for you.

The truth is, there is a man, probably more than one, out there, who will love and respect you and care for you and not behave in the appalling way that this dreadful man has done to you so far, and will only continue to do.

He does not love you, he is not worth your valuable time and love and affection, he will only every bring you misery and pain.

Be assured, there are many men out there to get to know slowly and gradually, yo do not have to commit to anything until you are ready.

Enjoy time with your friends, and wait and see what happens, but above all, take your time, and go at a pace that is comfortable for you.

A man worthy of you will be patient and take the time to get to know you properly, and you will find happiness.

But not with this fool.

He is no good for you, walk away now, he is trouble and will only ever hurt you.

Good luck.