Personal Life Question

[anonymooseperson]

So my husband (22) and I (21) dream of being musicians, I’m a singer and he digitally produces. It’s literally our only goal is to make it and tour. We both have insane depression every day, hate working normal jobs, hate doing anything that isn’t music. But we still need money to live. How are we supposed to live happy well balanced lives in the meantime?

It’s worse for my husband I can still grocery shop and make it through, he just gets home from work and sleeps and cries every day.

What can I do to help him function? Don’t say therapy doctor or anything like this it doesn’t work, we know what the problem is. We’re not happy because we’re not living our dream. Can’t fix that with a pill.

Sorry this is weird but we can’t ask anyone in real life for advice because they just say “yeah nice dream maybe one day haha” or “stay in the stable job no one makes it in music” they don’t get it that every day we’re not doing it is torture and I’d rather be dead than not achieve it. My husband wakes up for work every day and sobs because it’s so unhappy. And it’s not the job, it’s any job.

[davebro]

You surely don't work 24 hours a day - just get stuck into your music passion in your free time. Sure it'll be hard work but it's the only way to achieve your goal.

//he just gets home from work and sleeps and cries every day.//

Seems like he's wasting valuable time doing that.

[emmie]

doctors can help, you won't necessarily get pills to get through the days. I would say start with considering seeing a GP, and then go from there.

[Old_Geezer]

I doubt your depression is simply because you aren't living your dream. Many folk aren't. It's your reaction to that which causes your problems. Go seek medical help to tackle what is clearly a long term and deeper issue.

[barry1010]

Do something about it. If you want to tour you need to get out there and get experience. Offer to gig for free in local bars, cafes, clubs, hotels, anywhere that puts on live music.
Hire a studio for a few hours and get some recordings made.
Ask local bands that you admire if they will give you a singing slot in their own gigs, or have you as the warm up, supporting act.

Going to bed and crying won't get you anywhere. You must be able to handle criticism and rejection if you want to make it in the music biz, you need determination and a backbone.

[douglas9401]

Have you thought about channelling your drive into interpretive dance or fashion design?

It's what a lot of people who believe ordinary work is beneath them do.

[drmorgans]

You'll be suggesting becoming a social media influencer next.

[chanel5]

You are feeding off each other's negativity, which is making both of you unable to move forward and see the "bigger picture".

Your "dream" is not being realised at present because you are mired in self-pity that you can't be what you want to be ie touring musicians.
But you will never be what you want to be by constantly feeling sorry for yourselves.
At present, you haven't "made it" (your words) in the music business.
This will never happen if you continue the way you are - you need to work to live, yes that's true, but you must have free time when you are not working. Use this time in a positive way to improve your musical skills, make contacts, network, put yourself out there.
Eventually the day may come when you can "give up the day job" and concentrate solely on your bit passion, music.
But this will never happen if you and your husband continue to cry all the time because your dream has not fallen into your lap.
Get out there and make it happen. It's the only way.

[Boto]

Lots of people work at jobs they don’t like but have to bring in the money.