Are Parents Today Losing Control Of Their Children?

[renegadefm]

I know this subject is controversial, and I'm not wishing to upset anyone in any way. 

But are parents losing or already lost control of their children?

 

We we're at our local market today, and there was a family there, and their son who I would say is only 6 or 7, but was severely miss behaving, and to get attention rolling about on the floor violently, nearly tripping up other people, and the parents seemed powerless. 

 

I was just observing this and thought my God my father back in the day would have marched me out and smacked my bum I would be able to sit down, but the thing is I knew that so wouldn't have behaved like it in the first place. 

 

I'm not suggesting we should make smacking acceptable again, but we now seem to have recent generations of out of control children. 

 

It simply wasn't like it when I was a child in the 70's, when we were at school the headmaster could still use a cane to smack your hands with. 

 

It was simply a deterrent, and wasn't intended to hurt the child. But it seems we had all those things taken away, but the result is a wild generation of children. 

 

I think with that, and the fact they just label the bad behavior to a condition like autism or something, just makes the situation worse, whereas when I was a child you didn't hear of autism etc, you were just classed as a wild child. 

 

I just don't know where will this end, or shouldn't conditions like autism be identified sooner, and treated sooner to avoid this bad behaviour? 

[douglas9401]

Idiots beget idiots.

[barry1010]

I definitely remember children behaving like that decades ago and parents dealing with them in a variety of ways, or not.

 

[barry1010]

There has always been autistic children, they just weren't labelled that and were mostly in institutions or 'special schools' as they were called

[renegadefm]

barry1010, 

Thing is barry, we simply didn't behave like what I'm seeing now because we knew what we would get when we got home or whatever. 

Things are so different now. 

My Father wouldn't let me leave the kitchen table until I ate all my food. 

It was strict but in hindsight it served me better. 

Can you imagine trying to make screaming kids stay at the table today? 

[Ringlet]

First, I simply don't agree that the teachers' canes were there simply as a deterrent, and not intended to hurt the child. 

I and many of my fellow pupils suffered quite severe physical abuse at the hands of various sadistic and spiteful teachers, using canes, hard-backed books, their hands, their fists, their fingernails, and one male teacher's enormous scarab ring, which he used to cover his knuckle and knock children on the back of the head.  

My parents also had a cane, and they used it, especially my mother. She also used her hands, a shoe and a wet cloth. 

The fear of physical punishment may have been something of a deterrent to bad behaviour for my sister and me, but we still misbehaved.  

I agree, though, that our misbehaviour was not on the scale of some of the misbehaviour I see from young children today, and like you I am puzzled about the source of this change.  

So I suppose I am answering your question, simply to say that I have no answer.  The child you saw may have had a neurodivergent condition such as autism, or not.  The fact that the parents were not unduly worried or reacting would suggest that they were used to such a display.  Only they can possibly know the reason for it.

 

[vulcan42]

One thing I have noticed over the years and although behavioural related this seems to be accepted and also ignored, and that is screaming. I occasionally hear children laughing and shouting but the predominant expression for both happiness and sadness is loud persistant screaming. Where did that come from?

[renegadefm]

I'm not agreeing with this statement, but my parents always used to say children should be seen and not heard. 

How times have changed isn't it? 

[DDIL]

Good evening,

the children of the 70s that were hit by their parents and teachers rebelled and raised the children/grandchildren you are talking about.

so perhaps the bullish behaviour of the parents and teachers of the 70s did more harm than good?

[barry1010]

You may not have behaved like that but some other children did, renegade

[Prudie]

Children behave like that because they have been allowed to do what they want without direction (and usually without a family role model) but also defended as seen by the uber liberals on this thread defending it. What do you expect.

[pastafreak]

I sometimes wonder if bad behaviour is the result of being ignored. I say this because I see very little ones attempt to interact with parents, and get ignored. Does this lack of quality interaction result in a child that acts up more...and more? Yes...as I write this I know that not communicating with your children is another aspect of bad parenting. 

[Old_Geezer]

IMO smacking isn't unacceptable. You make the argument yourself that it works.

 

My suspicion is that many parents simply don't take the role seriously, or intervene soon enough. There may be exceptions for children with particular problems but much of the time, the attitude seems to be, "It's what children do". And so there is either no attempt at correction, or it's been left late and is now difficult.

[ladybirder]

One I see regularly trying to talk to her mother but mother is too busy to respond as she's always on her mobile.

[zebo]

It's not just that a lot of breeders are unwilling to control their children's behaviour, because then the said children may not lke them, they expect everyone else to buy into this fashionable neglect, how dare a teacher raise his/her voice at a child preventing the rest of the class from learning.

[DarceyK123]

I agree with Ladybirder, parents don't seem to interact with their children anymore, they never give them the attention they need, too busy on their mobiles or sitting in coffee shops gossiping with their mates to notice anything their child does.

[renegadefm]

DDIL, 

I dont agree with that at all because in the past the parents seemed to have these things in control, and as a child of those times I dont actually regret being taught that way. 

Its more a case the power of control has been taken away from parents, I would say roughly from the early 80's onwards. 

[renegadefm]

DarceyK123, 

Having said that, when you compare the parents of yesteryear was busy doing housework etc, so the situation of attention towards the kids would be the same. 

I suppose you could blame technology has made things too easy. 

[renegadefm]

I think the thing that upholds prevented bad behaviour is the need to label everything as autism etc. 

How can we address things by names? 

[DarceyK123]

Although some of my Mums time was taken up with housework, she still found time to engage with us, especially when out and about. She would take us to the shops by bus and she would ask me what colour the bus was and things like that, don't see parents hardly talking to their children these days.

[renegadefm]

DarceyK123, 

I agree with that, my parents were incredibly busy running our home, and Dad worked on a Farm and in full time employment. 

Mum basically ran the house. I remember as a child my Mum having to wash clothes by had when her twin tub washing machine packed up and they couldn't afford a new washing machine, but they just made do and mend. 

But we never felt neglected as children. 

But we knew our place, and all the children I knew at the time at school were far better behaved than the kids I see these days. 

And parents today have life much easier as technology has made work around the home much easier, so in reality parents should have more time to spend on their children.