Am I being selfish?

[babybombo]

My school has a prizegiving ceremony each year where a person from the top class, who got the highest mark, in each subject gets an award .
This year I got the highest mark in my year for Modern Studies and so should be receiving the award.
However, this is not the case.
One of my "friends" is smarter than me and revels in attention from teachers. Last year when she didn't receive the award for this subject she kicked up a fuss and the teacher reassured her "You'll get it next year"
She has always been a favourite in the school and generally tends to be picked for everything, this annoys me as I work hard and hardly ever get recognition.
This year should have been my chance but instead my "friend" is getting the award simply for having a good reputation.She didnt even get the second highest mark, infact she came in 6th place on the results.
I worked hard all year to achieve my marks while most of the time she chatted to our other friend and passed notes back and forward to her.
Do you think Iam being selfish or petty about this ?

[weeal]

I'd think that if your mark was the 'highest' then the award should go to you. Are they giving this to her to stop a tantrum? On the surface it seems like favouritism towards your friend. You have worked hard to achieve this, isnt there a teacher you could approach about it? One you can trust to be honest?

[oldgrape]

do you really need a prize!
What you gonna get book tokens
At the end of the day if you have done better than her well done but you have to keep your pride!
One day people will appreciate you for what u've done!
Your friend is only getting the prize cause shes an arse kisser just smile sweetly and know in your heart that u are better than that
One day in the working world she will not get special treatment and it will be a complete shock factor

[Whickerman]

You're not being petty! You work hard and there's a prize for reaching the goal of top mark in the class. If it's your, you deserve it.

I suggest tallking to your teacher or head.

[Octavius]

Is the award for �top mark� or for �good reputation�?
If it is for top mark, than you should speak to the teacher one to one.

I don�t think you are being selfish.

[Skreecheeboy]

I got a prize in 4th year for accounting and finance but didn't claim it as I was out celebrating or something! Can't remember why now actually! Does sound like favouritism to me though, I'd be gutted if you can't get them to see sense. Write a letter to the rector stating the obvious and explain that you'd rather not make a huge issue out of it but you deserve it having worked your ass off all year.

[weeal]

see this reminds me of a sibling of mine who, even approaching 40, still demands and gets what she wants most of the time whilst stepping on other peoples toes to get it. I dont like to see that happen, especially as its now my toes !!! Its your prize babybombo and an achievement you dont necessarily want to miss.

[alijangra]

It may not seem like it, but recognition at school will mean nothing to you in a few years time. Try and be content with the fact that you are the real winner in this situation because you did the best you can and triumphed! As you get older you will realise that some people only get where they want to be by shouting loudest. One thing that they do not get is respect. This person is obviously not a friend as they should have the good grace to point out to everyone that the real winner is you. If it really means a lot to you, do as weeal says and approach a trusted teacher about the matter.

[babybombo]

Thanks weeal (another scot I see! =) )

Yes it is all just to stop a tantrum from her, I tried to talk to the head of the department and she was very rude to me.
I asked politely on what basis was my friend getttin the prize and she just walked away !

oldgrape I can see you point but, its not all about the prize, I was in the exact same situation with my friend last year where I should have got the Biology award but she did.
I just took it last year but now it is really getting to me, its not about the prize its about the whole principal of this, the fact is that she is receiving an award for @rse kissing while I have genuinely worked hard and am getting nothing.

Its not just the prize of vouchers and a certificate, its how much recognition you get, all the teachers and pupils have a certain higher respect for you after you have achieved something.

[Shadow Man]

Put itching powder in her bra. I hate pesky kids who brown nose the teachers.

However, this may be an icognito move by your teachers to teach you that humility and modesty will get you further than the tart who will get the reward.

Rest assured however, that when you enter the work place, the highest positions are given to those who achieve the most. This meritocratic sysytem is the new capitalist way as opposed to old nepotism and bringing a teacher an apple in to school.

[whiffey]

Why don't you ask yourself Spock rather than getting Mr Pompous to ask on your behalf ?

What's wrong with 'May I ask'

[weeal]

oh shadow man I wish your last paragraph was true, i see so many great jobs given to 'friends' of the Director etc, over 26 years experience in the workplace has flattened me. My dad always used to say "its not what you know, its who you know" and its been true so very often (but not to my advantage).

[babybombo]

lol shadowman good idea !

I will probably just need to get used to this as it will happen again next year without a doubt !!

G4Gs Modern Studies deals with things like politics, economy , government , society and international relations etc etc

This is the scottish course anyway Im not sure what it is called in England, or even if there is something similar

[Shadow Man]

There are exceptions, but the main aim of any market in a capitalist system is to make money. Therefore, surely the directors (answerable maybe to the shareholders) woul only employ the most capable.

If you ran your own firm, would you chose a friend or somebody to maximise your profits with a proven track record?

Perhaps you should move company and "sell" your full potential.

[mrs_overall]

This is outrageous babybombo. If the rules say the highest mark gets the award then they should stick to it. This sounds like a case of your "friend" screaming loudly so they're giving her the award to shut her up.
I note what you say about your conversation with your head of year. If I were in your shoes I would write to her, asking why you (with the top marks) aren't receiving the award. I'd also mark the letter as cc to whoever is in charge.If you still have no response I'd go above your H.O.Y., again, in writing.
You deserve recognition for your hard work.
Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

[babybombo]

Thanks Mrs_o

I think will write to her as she doesn't seem to be taking me seriously in conversation and I don't want to get angry in front of her as this may just upset the situation further.

Will let you know how I got on,
and thanks to evryone who answered Iam working my way down the page just now giving you all stars =)

[weeal]

no probs babybombo (fellow scot n all that) good luck with it.

[YJ]

You're not being petty. You got the highest mark and therefore you have won the prize, but instead of giving it to you they're giving it to 'she who yells the loudest'. And why do you say she's smarter than you? You beat her! It doesn't matter what the award is, the point is that you're being screwed for working hard instead of throwing a tantrum. The teacher sounds rubbish. I would write a letter to the headmaster, something like:
"Dear [],
In relation to the award for highest marks in Modern Studies, I was rather surprised to hear that this year, instead of the award going to the student with the highest marks (as has traditionally been the case), the award has instead been allocated to the student with the 6th best marks, apparently on the basis that it was promised to her a year ago.

Without wishing to sound petty, I would be extremely grateful if you could kindly clarify the basis on which the award is issued. You will appreciate that it is rather demoralising for myself and the other students in the top five of the subject to find that they have erred in focusing on the academic side of things. If it is the case that each year the award is given to the student who asked for it most loudly in the preceding year, then please consider this my formal application for next year's award.

I look forward to your views.

Kindest regards, Babybombo."

[weeal]

YJ - Excellent !!! Love it.

[mrs_overall]

Brilliant YJ!