Have I got any rights

[crackpotdj]

My ex recently re-married and is now in the process of emigrating to another country with our 4 children and her new hubby. Just wondered if I had any say in the matter about her taking the kids or is she allowed to do as she pleases.

Thanks
Rob

[Pippa68]

If you have parental responsibility then yes, you can raise your objections.

You mention that she has remarried ~ this means you were married to your ex? in which case you have parental responsibility. Do you have a solicitor?

[crackpotdj]

Thanks for the reply pippa, yes we was married but have been divorced for 12 years(thats probably irrelevant) Waiting to see my solicitor but that`ll be on friday, surely if this went to court they couldn`t force her to stay in the UK

[VillageVicar]

It depends largely on the age of your children as well. If they're close to 16 or over, the weight of their wishes will prevail. I wish you every success. Fr Bill

[888sally888]

Hi Rob

What a nightmare - are you able to care for the children yourself? ie would you be happy telling her to move abroad without the kids?

My husbands ex has moved with their son aged 14 to France which he allowed cos its near and he has a far better life there than in the uk.

We miss him loads though.

[Pippa68]

You are right, the divorce and length of time are irrelevant.

Do you have regular contact with the children, and what are their ages? all this will be discussed with your solicitor..all I know is that if your ex wants to move the children out of the country she needs either your consent or the consent of the court.

The courts are only looking at the best interests of the child/ren. I have no way of predicting the outcome, but know that both parties will have to state their cases.

I wish you all the luck in the world x

[crackpotdj]

Many thanks for all of your replies, I don`t get to see the children that often because at the moment we both live at either end of the country.The children are at the age were they can make a clear enough decision on what they want( lads are 17 + 15 and twin girls 14)
I just cant see how the courts could force her to stay but I could be wrong

[Pippa68]

It really depends on what they want..they are at the ages where they will be listened to in court, and I'm afraid that if they want to go they will :o(


Do you know whether they want to go? if they do, then dragging a case through court won't be helpful to your relationships at all. This is a very hard situation.

[crackpotdj]

Wise words there Pippa, I personally don`t want to take the matter to court but I also don`t want the kids the feel like i`m not bothered about them.
They stayed at the place their moving to for 3 weeks and the kids loved it and can`t wait to move there. So i`d look like the bad guy if I tried to stand in their way.

Thanks
Rob

[Pippa68]

This is so very hard, Rob.

I am sure the kids know you are bothered ~ save yourself time & money and don't go to court..all it does in situations like this is line solicitors pockets.

Let your kids know that you love them and you will miss them..I am sure they know this anyway, but they will thank you for giving them the opportunity to live in a wonderful country. They won't forget that ~ you are doing the best thing for them by letting them go.

Bless your heart!

[888sally888]

Pippa is spot on - just let them know they can always come back and be with you - your door is always open.

You sound like a nice dad and just try and stay in as much contact however you can.

Out of interest - are they going far?

[chitchat]

I moved with my new husband and my 2 children to New Zealand last year. We had to have my ex husband's permission by way of a letter for a temporary visa. For the children to obtain a permanent residency visa I would have had to go to court in the UK to get full custody of the children. This was too expensive for us. They are 14 and 13 now and they can apply for perm residency in their own right once they are 16.

For now we have them on a temp student visas. As they come up for renewal next year I will have to approach my ex for another letter.

I know this is hard for you but as the children are older, you will have the comfort of knowing that they wont forget you. But your ex will need some form of authority from you to take them out of the country.

I hope you all come to an amicable solution over this.