My Dad

[yinyang]

Thanks to all who answered on my thread below. I'm afaid dad passed away yesterday morning. Sadly, we weren't with him at the time. he had been in very good spirits in the morning and had said he was just going to have a sleep so mum and I had gone out to have a break and a coffee. I feel terrible about this even though the doctor says it would have made no difference, it was probably a massive stroke and would have been quick and peaceful.
I still haven't taken it in and i don't know if it's right for me to be on here but i can't sleep and was just going crazy lying in the dark. I knew this was coming and i thought Iwas prepared but I didn't think for a minute it would be so soon.

[slid_away]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. It must be a very difficult time for you.
It is never a good time to lose a loved one, no matter how prepared you are for it. I can imagine it makes it no easier.

[EngTeach]

Yin- I too am sorry for your loss. As I said I am going through this right now too. I can only say that the next few days will be tiring and even blurry, but we do get through.

Let yourself be swept up in the support and love you will experience from friends and family. Cry, laugh and live. keep trying to remember that our parents want us to be content and happy again. I'll ask mom to look for the dad of Yinyang. She'll know him. Mom's always know everything.!!

Again, My deepest condolences. ((((((hug)))))

Again,

[yinyang]

Thank you, slid_away.

[EngTeach]

I have been trying to post for 10min. Ugh!!!

I am sorry for your loss. As i wrote, i am going through this right now. All Iknow is that the next few days will be exhausting and pass in a fog. Take all the love and comfort from friends an family. You will need it.

Cry, laugh, cry. live. Our parents want us to be happy even if they are not here with us. I'll tell mom to look for yinyang's dad. She'll know him. Mom's know everything!!
My deepest symapathies. (((((hug)))))

[VillageVicar]

Yinyang, I am sorry for your loss. I know that you and your mother are in sadness.

I do not know whether you practice a faith or not. It is not my place to ask within the confines of this site. It is my desire to offer you words of comfort and nothing else. As I understand it, the guidlines of AB say we can not promote our own websites. If you will accept it in the spirit in which it is offered, I will share the following. It is not intended as a promotion of any sort, nor is it offered to make any political or religious statement: It is merely as a reference:

http://anglicans.blogspot.com/2005/12/im-only- dying.html

If there is any assistance or guidance I may offer during this difficult time, I will be honoured to answer any questions you may have.

You are in my thoughts and prayers

Fr Bill

[yinyang]

Thank you Fr Bill.

[EngTeach]

I am so sorry. I am going through this right now too. All I know is that the next few day s will be tough.

You have to cry a little, laugh a little and remember that our parents want us to be happy again.

I told mom to look for yinyang's dad. She'lll find hin. Moms know everything. ((((((hug)))))

( Ihave been trying to respond since you first posted. If my message comes through again, I apologize.)

[FUZZYBEE]

Dear yinyang, I read your earlier post and I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my mum and was not there, the rest of my family were but I was the youngest and always considered "the baby".( i was 33) I firmly believe that she chose to go without waiting for me as if to protect me and I'm sure that's what your wonderful Dad did too.
Take comfort from those that love you and can I just say that if my two daughters grow up to be half the daughter you are....I shall be very happy indeed.
big love x fuzzy x

[888sally888]

I so know how you are feeling - my dad died 3 years ago and he was the best dad in the world to me.

He was alone when he passed which made me sad but its what he would have wanted.

Things will get easier and the image of him ill will be replaced by happy memories. My dad is very clever and often when I think of him a song comes on the radio which I know was sent to me by him.

[bednobs]

after working for 10 years in palliative care i truley believe that people can chose their own time. Some people want to wait till theyre on their own, to protect their fsmilies, and ive seen some people hang on while a relative gets there

[Beanmistriss]

Sorry to hear about your Dad. My granny had a stroke which she survived. She told us that it wasn't painful and that if she ever had another one we should remember that she wasn't in pain. She had another one a few years later which she didn't survive but it was comforting to remember what she had said.

[pingu97]

so sorry for your loss yinyang. My mamar dies 5 yrs ago and we were 2 minutes too late @ the hospital it's something i still haven't learnt to fully live with; that i wasnt there, but i do believe as said previously that your dad (& my mamar) chose his time to go, to save you & your mum the heartbreak. Looking back now i've realised that although @ the time i felt like it couldnt have hurt anymore than it did, it would of been worse had i of been there at the time.
i send u all my love n thoguhts, i'm not going to tell u to be strong & that you'll 'get over it' because thats not helpful because it will hurt & u will cry, just take each day that comes & i hope it'll get easier for you and your family xx

[funnygirl]

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum early last year and llke you I was not there. I really beated myself up about that.
But believe you me , time does heal and the doctor did say at the time, it would not have made a bit of difference as she was in a coma.

My thoughts are with you.

[Compostella]

Still a bit surreal I guess at the moment for you.

We went through this in 2003 and looking back now, it seems so far away.

All I can say to you is that life does go on and it is for living. It does get better with time, a cliche I know but its a good one.

[cruella]

Hi yingyang,
I was so sad to read of your loss this morning.
Yes, it is right for you to express your grief in any way that will help you.
Nothing anyone can say will lessen the sadness you feel right now.
Wounds do heal but it does take time.
One thing for sure now, your Dad is at peace, away from all the suffering.
I often ask myself, why most people have to suffer before they leave this earth.
You can only get through the next few days as best you can and if you have support from your family and are supportive to your Mum, then that has to be a bonus.
You will eventually get to a place in your life where you can look back on all the good times, but as yet it is too early for that.
Take care. xx