should i tell my mum

[oldgrape]

right i was adopted when i was 4 years old and last year i got in contact with my biologial father me and my son are going up to york to meet him for the first ever time.

my adopted mum has always said that she would help me contact my birth parents if i wanted to but would be heart broken and would find it so difficult

my adopted mum had a stroke 2 months ago and don't know whether or not to tell her about my dad or lie to her

what do u lot think???

[jaffa cake]

its better not to lie but it would depend how frail your mother is . it may be a goog idea to talk to he doctor for the best advice. good luck

[oldgrape]

thanks for ur answer jaffa

[Ice.Maiden]

Yes, depending on how your adopted mum is, then maybe you should visit your dad and not say anything until she's feeling more able to accept the news. That way, you won't have to lie to her, because you haven't said anything. If and when the time comes when you feel able to explain, you can tell her that you did it with her interests at heart, and I hope that everyone can be happy with your choice. x

[southern6]

My son whom i had adopted when i was 16 found me i had always left my details with social services so this was easy for him to find out,he has expected a great long search ahead of him but this wasnt the case he went to social services for his papers and there was my address and phone number for him everytime i moved i contacted them with my new details,anyway he did contact me i was living in germany at the time so i came to uk to see him and we got on well,but then over time relationship has faded,but i did meet his mum and she was overwhelmed to meet me but has left him to get on with it himself,i am not his mum she is his mum.I am 50 now and yes knowing what i do now i would have made a different choice at the time,but i was thrown out with the clothes on my back and that was it,no help from family as it was in them days.But i wouldnt lie to your mum,sit down and explain that you need to know and meet this person but it wont change how you are with her and dont forget to say you love her and no one could ever replace her