iligitimit children

[meltoadhall]

just out of interest and because I personally have very strong views on the subject.

do the people on ab who are not married and have children realise that their children are illigitimit or worse the b word?
does it bother you?

btw I'm not referring to widows or divorcees here, but those who have their children "out of wedlock"

there was an article in the paper this morning about it

[redcrx]

why would the grandparents on mothers side be upset, squad. if the couple are truly commited to each other then surely its no different to a marriage (just without a certificate). and with a marriage the child would have fathers name anyway.

I can undertsand they may be upset if they had 4 grandchildren all with same mother but all different surnames and no father figure of the same name, but thats not what meltoadhall is taking about as such.

[dot.hawkes]

do you believe that being illegitimate or a b@stard under law is somehow something to be ashamed of? It's only a word created to make people pay to support they claim to an inheritance or make a father pay to support the child.
Or are you from a generation that sent pregnant unmarried girls to mental institutions to avoid the shame she had brought on the family? A time when the family unit might have consisted of a 17 year old girl with a 1 year old baby supposedly her sister but really her own? Do you know how dark a time that was? And that would be between 1930 and 1960!

[meltoadhall]

very interesting, thank you
sad but interesting

[redcrx]

What would you do if your son or daughter (unmarried) came home and announced that they were expecting a child out of wedlock?

[dot.hawkes]

mumof threeangels, in civil registration law, if the parents of a child registered as illegitimate marry during the lifetime of that child the child is legitimised.

Mel, why is it interesting and why is it sad? If you have strong views on illegitimacy you should surely be condoning the attitude and actions I described.

[danchip]

what is sad

[meltoadhall]

personally my children have been taught that sex before marriage is wrong and we have had discussions where they have told me that they intend to remain virgins until they marry.
if it did happen then I would be supportive but very disappointed

however the question was does it bother you as having children out of wedlock or being a child from that situation?

[dot.hawkes]

I would venture to observe that if you are an 'elderly uni graduate' possibly your children are beyond the age where they are likely to be having children now anyway.

[meltoadhall]

sad because I believe in the sanctity of marriage and interesting because christian values have truly gone from this country - just as the newspaper said it had and i just wanted to find out.

[alicebear87]

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

Doesn't really matter whether a kid is born to married parents or what surname they take - it makes no difference these days in my opinion.

The meaning of the 'b' word has largely become divorced from the meaning now and people just use it as a common insult without thinking about what they are saying

One of my siblings was born out of wedlock and of course she is the most sucessfull, confident and well balanced of all of us.

[4getmenot]

and you really believe they arent going to have sex before marriage. You need to wake up and live in the real world. Times are changing. So you never answered redcrx why are you ok with divorce?

[mumof3angels]

dot- thanks for the info, but it was a tongue in cheek question. I have never thought of my child as illegitamate- I just wondered what meltoadhall would have answered to that one. My other 2 children born in 'wedlock' are no different to my child born out of it. I just can't believe that some people are still so narrow minded in this day and age!!

[mrs_overall]

meltoadhall, I can respect your views but I would like to ask you if you think that a return to the bad old days (i.e. pre 1980) when illegitimate children were stigmatised is a good thing or a bad thing?

[LoftyLottie2]

Do you use the term 'wedlock' from a religious point of view meltoadhall and are your beliefs about virginity before marriage religious views? I am not decrying your beliefs, just interested.

[dot.hawkes]

mumof3angels I think you can return to the register office where you registered your eldest childs birth and have the entry amended or an adendum added, can't quite remember.

[dot.hawkes]

can you post the link to the article please? I am interested in what it was about and interested in your interpretation of it

[mumof3angels]

dot I don't need anything added or changed on my daughter's certificate- her dad's name was put down on it and I am married to him now. Why would I want to change anything?

[dot.hawkes]

ok mumof3angels.