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iligitimit children

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meltoadhall | 07:44 Fri 13th Feb 2009 | Family & Relationships
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just out of interest and because I personally have very strong views on the subject.

do the people on ab who are not married and have children realise that their children are illigitimit or worse the b word?
does it bother you?

btw I'm not referring to widows or divorcees here, but those who have their children "out of wedlock"

there was an article in the paper this morning about it
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Marriage is a long standing social label, that has have taken into our lifestyles. If a child is wanted and loved then it needn't be labelled the "b" word, the labelling is from the same mind set of people who have taken marriage another label as being the "norm". Should you be labelled illiterate... ?
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prob not, just an elderly uni graduate who can't type very well.

Marriage should be norm and that is my point exactly.
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ok, to prove i can spell, the word is illegitmate, sometimes I really should do spell check lol
narrow minded, my point exactly.
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why should it bother anyone? if a child is loved and in a family enviroment it shouldnt matter whether the parents are married or not.
nothing wrong with it whasoever....id rather a child brought into this world by a loving couple, than a couple that perhaps wont appreciate it as much...
it's a very pre-1980's view.
I have very strong views on people who have very strong views on issues like these...........
if "marriage should be the norm", as you say, then why do you think divorce is different?
Thank heavens you can't tell by looking whether a person is illegitimate or not.

I do speculate about your IQ if you didn't understand the meaning of illegitimacy or the B word until you read about in the paper today, meltoadhall
It shouldnt matter if your married or not as long as the child is loved and looked after properly. There are children in family's where the parents are married that aren't as happy as some children in family's where the parents aren't married.
Just because someone is married, doesnt make their relationship more solid than someone who isn't married, their wouldnt be devorce otherwise lol
Anyways thats my opinion :)
Smiling at Ethel's comment.
I have quite strong views too. I believe that children should ideally be born into a loving family with two committed parents who are aware of their responsibiities for that child. Whether they have a piece of paper saying they are married is irrelevant. Fortunately there is no stigma these days to being born out of 'wedlock'.

'Wedlock' gives no assurance whatsoever that a child will be taken care of properly or that a relationship is stable.

Just a question of the grandparents........if a child is born out of wedlock, should the child take the surname of the father or of the mother?............just a thought.
id say the father, squad.
whos to say the parents wont get married eventually or the mother change her name.
My eldest was born 2 years before me and mrmum got married. She took his name from birth. So does that mean she was a 'b' for 2 years until me and her dad got married or will she always be one?!!!
redcrx.....I would agree with you, but I bet that the grandparents on the mother's side would jump up and down screaming.

I was born a b...std, and took the name of the people that brought me up, who were in fact my grandparents. When I was told who my mother actually was, she was married and I was applying to go to Uni. I had a period of a couple of months, during which I had an identity crisis, but this soon passed as I used both surnames hyphenated.
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