I told him

[angel21]

that we can't be together as the relationship doesn't work for me in the long term.

Then I reeled of my list of reasons and then he said that some of the things I thought he had done he hadn't and it really really makes me confused so then he went out and left me at his flat for some 'head space' and then came back about 10.15 last night where in the meantime I had cried so much I gave myself a terrible migraine and puked down the toilet.

So I told him I was ill and couldn't think straight and he said I could stay and go tomorrow if thats still what I wanted so I stayed.

Now at work looking like something that crawled out of a drain (been in the same clothes 4 days in a row)

Theres so much that I doubt in the relationship and he tells me a lot of it I have got wrong like he says he didn't cheat last time we were together but at the time he said he did and he something that he sings (hodily hodily ho) every now and then for no reason I think means he's calling me a whoare and he said it wasn't but I don't think I believe him. Plus while I was in bed last night I thought of something else - when we got back together this time he said he hadn't kissed anyone since we had been apart and then I found a pair of knickers in his wardrobe which I confronted him about and he said 'we were apart for 2 years you know' so he obviously had done more than kissed a girl.

He's lied to me but I still doubt myself

[rinkins]

So it is finished then yes?!!

[sqad617]

angel......you need a section to yourself.

[jno]

look, if you want to stay with him, stay with him. If you don't, don't. You aren't required to be fair to him. You are entitled to end a relationship any time you want, for any reason or no reason at all. It's your life. It seems perfectly clear that this one is making you unhappy. You can do something about this. I can't do it for you., and he won't, but you can.

[angel21]

no its in limbo

thing is i want to believe him when he says he didn't mean those things or do those things but theres a lot of evidence which goes against it so I guess tonight my answer will still have to be no

Its hard when you think you might have been verbally abused though as the person can make it so vague and unobvious that it makes you wonder if it is really you that is just thinking that.

So I'm left with all this doubt and he thinks I'm leaving him for no reason, I want him to understand and bloody be straight with me and own up to the things he has done

I told him the things he does makes me love him less but he denies them

I shouldn't even like him let alone love him the things I think he has put me through but can't be sure of

[biggerlonger]

are they pink?

they are mine

(vibra)

[yogi.bear]

Morning angel x


Finish with him..............NOW!!

You will be able to get on with your life then!

:0)

[rinkins]

Angel is there someone who can help you with this? A close friend who can "hold your hand"???

I really wish I could give you the strength to just do it

[angel21]

No there isn't anyone. I've got the strength I just have doubt.

Most people when their relationship ends have a solid reason - an affair/too many rows etc.

I've jsut got did he cheat/didn't he cheat / does he verbally abuse me / doesn't he vrebally abuse me / is he controlling / isn't he controlling / etc etc



Look trust me I really really hate moaning on and on about this I really do but theres no one else knows the full story apart from you people

[angel21]

Hi yogi x

[tamborine]

wash the knickers before you use 'em

[biggerlonger]

No you don't hate moaning, you thrive on it, you have no intention of leaving him.

Everyone on here have given you ample reason and reasurance, day after day, it is up to you, you have to do it.

May sound a tad harsh but softly softly is not working with you Angel, you gripe each day but don't actually do anything about your life, at this rate Angel41 will be saying the same things.

[sqad617]

tambo....his OR hers?

[rinkins]

Most people have a reason yes, but (speaking from personal experience) you can still have doubt at times honey. Try not to doubt yourself, you know this is the right thing to do. There will be times when you look back and wonder because after a while it's easy to forget the bad things. You've got to do what is right for you now. And eventually I am sure you will feel better for it.

I'll come and hold your hand x

[4getmenot]

Hang on a while ago you said you cant be with him and wouldnt be with him, you dont love him but you were just satuing with him because he had ball problems. He's lied, he makes you upset, he's abused you just leave for god sake. It doesnt matter who? where? why? or what? anymore, Why do you keep asking all these questions. You are very confused. You need to end this and start being happy in yourself because untill you are any relationship you're in no matter how well they treat you you will always question it

[redcrx]

either youre imagining all these things he says/ does or he is saying/doing them and then denying it.

either way you need space away from him to sort it out.

he knows your week and havnt got the strength to walk away and seems to be using it to full advantage.

go home, clean up and ignore him for a few weeks. be strong woman!

[4getmenot]

biggerlongers right in a way, you could have the whole world but as you're not happy in yourself nothing will ever be good enough

[biggerlonger]

ball problems 4get?

like keepy uppy

[angel21]

Thanks rinkins. I wish you could. x

Ok I won't say anymore about it today. I'll give you all the next update tomorrow. Not that you all want to hear it but there are a small number who have been very supportive

[CAJ1]

Angel, you are there - you are on the brink of starting a new happier life! But only if you allow yourself it. This is your chance to muster up all of your strength and leave him for good. You know that he has lied to you, you know the way he treats you is not right and you know that he manipulates you into believing that you are wrong when you accuse him of something. A relationship that causes you this much grief and so many posts on here is not a healthy one. This is the hardest part, don't listen to his excuses, pack up, leave and don't look back. Get on with your list of things which "take so long to do", thats one thing ticked off in less than 24 hours! xx