The question seemed quite reasonable to me, and since it was addressed to everyone in general and no-one in particular, I fail to see how it amounts to an accusation.
No, it's not cheating. The point has already been made that online resources are no different to printed ones. Hunting down the answers to clues, online or in print, doesn't spoil the fun for me - it's very much part of the fun.
Whether it's entirely ethical to enter prize competitions when others have helped you with some of the answers is another question - but not one I personally get too bothered about, except when posters come on AB asking for help with every single answer.
In my 40+ years (on and off) of solving, I've discussed, shared and debated clues and solutions at home, in the pub, on the phone and now online - again, I don't see how using technology makes any difference to something that's always gone on.
I think it's great that people can have discussions, share knowledge... and encourage those new to solving to persevere. Newcomers, in time, become old hands and share their knowledge.
I don't want to reopen the Listener debate again, but I do wonder what people who object to discussing answers and using online sources of reference are doing on AB in the first place - unless, of course, it's a kind of cruciverbal curtain-twitching.
Crosswords aren't a matter of life and death or something to beat yourself (or others) up over. They're meant to be fun (albeit very serious fun!)