Family Relationships

[frankngracie]

If you are 34 should you have to answer to your family about where your going and how late you\'ll be home just because you live with them?

[mrs_overall]

Their home, their rules I guess.

[tamborine]

Are they more concerned than nosey? You can always pepper the truth.....if you've been 'out on the tiles' ;o)

[dothawkes31]

It depends, if they are your parents it's their house and so yes, if it;s your spouse and kids, then they have a right to know too.

[~Wingnut~]

Well I dunno really Frank maybe it's because they worry about you and if your alright?
My 11 year old daughter went into town today with her friend for the first time ever! I haven't been able to sit down for the pacing and worrying if she was ok! I rang her a few times (don't think it was appreciated) but what I am getting at is if you lived on your own your parents would probably ring you ever once in the while asking how you are, with living with them they proably just want to know that you are ok if you haven't come in when you said you would be home by.
They probably lay their till you get home anyway then go off to sleep safe in the knowledge that your home safe and well.

Parents don't stop worrying just because your older you know! Yes I sound like my Mother and I totally understand what she meant when she said it to me all those years ago!! and my eldest is only 11! God help her first boyfriend!

[sara3]

perhaps it's time to move out!

[STIDW]

I think it's a matter of courtesy to let people you live with know where you are and when you will be back even if they aren't your parents.

[zzxxee]

i personally would not let an 11 year old go into town on their own

NO ITS NOT A CRITISISM OF WINGNUT im just saying i feel its a little young but we all parent differently no way is right or wrong,

at 34 should you not be trying to live independantley???

[4getmenot]

I think they have every right to ask you as its their house

[4getmenot]

If your answer is a 34 yr old is olf enough to do what they want then they are also old enough to get a house

[pericat]

We would need to know a little more a about your situation before answering that. There are many different scenarios -

[zzxxee]

true peri xx

[4getmenot]

yes there are peri. If a 34yr old is unable to get a house, no job, no money etc then they should still stick by the rules of the householder. There is no harm in telling a person when you will be in for peace of mind

[pericat]

Being the mother of a 19 year old myself 4get I have learnt and am still learning the many scenarios. Maybe this 34 year old is home because he is needed there or maybe he needs to live there - are his parents clingy or do they just need peace of mind so yes many different situations and we need to know what they are before seeing the whole situation

[LoftyLottie]

I just think it's polite and responsible to inform anybody you live with how long you expect to be out and whether you are going out locally or far away. Not exactly sure that it's esential to tell them exactly where you are going. You might not know yourself!!!

[LoftyLottie]

My son, when he lived at home, would always inform me whether he intended to be home or whether he would be late or staying out all night. He never told me exactly what he was going to be doing. He still doesn't!! Some people just don't share this sort of information.

[LoftyLottie]

As an aside, I think 11 years old is old enough for a child to go into town with a friend, as long as you know where they will be going. It's hard to let go I know. Children have at some stage to start to live in the real world and we do them no favours by being over protective. The world isn't such a dreadful place. We only here about the bad things that happen to kids.

At 34, I don't think we should interfere too much!! ;o)

[4getmenot]

Not really no matter what scenario it doesnt hurt to have some resepct and just let them know where you are going.

[LoftyLottie]

Not always possible 4get. It depends on the parents. My mother loved to interfere in my life so I kept quite a few things secret. I think it's important to let them know how long you expect to be to save people worrying, but you shouldn't need to have to tell them exactly where you are going. You might not want them to know? As an adult, parents should be treated with the same respect you would give any other person you might be living with - no more, no less.

[4getmenot]

sorry meant to put polite to tell them when you are going out and think you will be back. Obviously you cant tell them everything

[LoftyLottie]

We obviously agree then 4get! x