sleepovers

[bubbly2000]

My daughter & her boyfriend are both 16 and have been together for a year. They are very smitten. She approached me recently and said they had been talking and wants to go on the pill, as they don't want to take risks as they are both very career orientated and have clear goals which they want to acheive. She asked if he could stay over, to which I agreed. She sleeps with me and he has the spare bed. Before I agreed to her staying at his, I met his family and they are nice respectable hardworking people. So everything should be fine, however, I have a partner of 3 yrs who does not live with me, and hes blown his top about the sleepovers, as he dosen't agree with kids having partners to stay under parents roofs. I suggested a compromise, that I wouldn't allow him to stay over on a night when he stayed, but he said no, not any night, regardless if it was out night or not. So wer'e at a stale mate and its causing so much tension. Help..Am I being a slack mother, I don't think I am, but would be grateful for anyones opinion

[cherrychapstick]

Good luck bubbly

goodnight and sleep well ,hope you stick to what you have said

Cherry x

[bubbly2000]

cherry....no, she had the guest room at his house too. His parents have assured me.

[cherrychapstick]

that is good bubbly ,

i know they are over the age of consent but i'm quite funny about it too.
they sound quite mature and want to go on the pill is a good start ,i do hope
everything works out for you all the best xx

[tamborine]

Poor Rudolf is superceded by Bambi.....your partner is jealous and fancies his chances with your daughter.

Let the bf stay, he can keep unwanted attention away from your daughter.

[dizmouk2009]

That's the first time I have ever in my entire life seen advice like that tamborine. I'm speechless.

[dizmouk2009]

My last 'proper' relationship was with a las (alot younger), I used to stay at her house alot and her mother was going out with this bloke that fancied her daughter. All he did was threaten me, that really isn't a smart idea....

[tamborine]

dizmouk2009....you live a sheltered life - why else would the old geezer object to the bf. At least bubbly is now aware.

[dizmouk2009]

tamborine: Have you taken into consideration everything else bubbly has said during this thread? She's quite clearly stated that this man has issues with his own childen. How can you make the assumption that he 'fancies' her daughter? If so why would she want this man in her house, her daughter is only 16.

[tamborine]

diz....I haven't read the thread - am just answering the q asked. Take it or leave it but she's aware.

Have I spoiled the plan?

[jno]

bubbly, your daughter sounds a lot more mature than your bf. She's thought about it, and she's even discussed it with you. An awful lot of 16-year-olds would do neither. And this is, incidentally, a credit to your parenting skills that you've brought up a smart kid.

As for your bf... well, what everyone else has said, really. Up to you whether you keep on with him, but you shouldn't let him disrupt your relationship with your daughter. Double standards indeed!

Stand by your daughter, and good luck.

[dizmouk2009]

tamborine: I'm unsure whether there was any plan or not, I hadn't realised that you haven't read the whole thread. Although I do not live a sheltered life.

[tamborine]

having a d'ter in the care of another father other than the biological one must be most father's nightmare, diz?

[dizmouk2009]

I agree with that, If my child was being brought up by a stranger I'd be most unhappy. Also if I was the partner of person who had a child and that child wasn't mine then I'd also feel uneasy at first.

[bubbly2000]

Tamborine....just to clarify..she hasn't been bought up by my b/f, I have bought her up, he's only been around the last 3 yrs. The issues, I now realise lie with him and not us. I can't change his views, but I can stop him dictating to us, which I have now done. Thanks for your input

[cherrychapstick]

Hi bubbly ,
Hope you are ok today x

stay safe ,take care

[bubbly2000]

hi cherry, yes I am fine n dandy thanx. Everything is so much clearer now

[4getmenot]

I havent read the comments but would like to say your daughter comes across as very sensible. If they are in seperate beds what is the problem. If I was in that siatuation I would allow them to share as they are obviously going to have sex and I'd rather any daughter of mine did it under her family roof whilst being safe than at some party or in some alleyway.

[bubbly2000]

forgetmenot.....Sex or not, my only concern is that they are safe and protected, which I agree, they are if under my roof. I would not allow them to share a room and they are respectful of that and it isn't an issue with them at all. I'm thankful they aren't hanging around the streets causing a nusience, drinking alcohol, doing drugs, smoking or shoplifting...All of which my partners kids do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[4getmenot]

So it is entirely up to you what you allow your daughter to do under your own roof. And I think you are being very wise. x