ChatterBank0 min ago
sleepovers
91 Answers
My daughter & her boyfriend are both 16 and have been together for a year. They are very smitten. She approached me recently and said they had been talking and wants to go on the pill, as they don't want to take risks as they are both very career orientated and have clear goals which they want to acheive. She asked if he could stay over, to which I agreed. She sleeps with me and he has the spare bed. Before I agreed to her staying at his, I met his family and they are nice respectable hardworking people. So everything should be fine, however, I have a partner of 3 yrs who does not live with me, and hes blown his top about the sleepovers, as he dosen't agree with kids having partners to stay under parents roofs. I suggested a compromise, that I wouldn't allow him to stay over on a night when he stayed, but he said no, not any night, regardless if it was out night or not. So wer'e at a stale mate and its causing so much tension. Help..Am I being a slack mother, I don't think I am, but would be grateful for anyones opinion
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Bubbly - this man is very bad news. How dare he insult you by calling you slack with no morals? The fact that he is making you question your parenting skills shoul lead to a one-way ticket out of your door! I'd be proud to have a daughter like yours and the way that you are open with communication and understanding makes you a cracking mum. Shift this nasty bigoted bloke.
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I'm another rather old fasioned one who takes your partner's point of view. I think even if your daughter is prepared to be sensible and use the pill, I think 16 is too young for them to be in a sexual relationship, whether it's under her mother's roof or not. I can see no reason whatsoever why her boyfriend shouldn't sleep over under your roof, provided it's not in the same room as your daughter. Young people often flit quickly in and out of relationships at this age and I don't think it will do her any harm to wait a little longer before getting too deep into a relationship. Developing a little more emotional maturity on this issue may help her to make better judgements about the personalities and qualities of her boyfriends as time goes by.
whoeva....I understand that they are still young, however they have known each other since the age of 11 as friends and have benn b/f-g/f for a yr now, they are very sensible, level headed kids who put their upcoming GCSE's first and foremost. They are career minded individuals who have no intention of being saddled with children themselves. I speak honestly and openly to both of them, as do his parents. She asked to go on the pill, just in case. I think prevention is better than cure. I think had my parner had the same open honest communication with his kids then they may not be in the terrible state they are. I do appreciate your views.
bubbly, I don't necessarily go along with posts saying 'dump him'. It might be better for both of you if you could keep him and house-train him instead - not easy, but then dumping someone isn't easy either. But you do need to make it clear to him that you will stand by your daughter, and that any attempt by him to say 'it's her or me' isn't going to come out the way he wants.
Good luck. You sound like a fine mum.
Good luck. You sound like a fine mum.
