Father Christmas

[Rondy]

Father Christmas is on trial

You are accused, Mr. Santa Claus, alias Saint Nick, alias Kris Kringle, age unknown, of no fixed abode, with the following charges:

Failing to apply for immigrant status

Crossing the UK border illegally on December 25 of each year as far back as records go

Failing to operate a union toy shop, and not paying your elves the minimum wage

You are accused of the illegal entry of millions of homes on December 25 of each year

Violating the business ethics code by operating a tight monopoly

Failing to file a flight plan for your travels

Transporting hooved animals in contradiction of the Foot and Mouth regulations

Failing to equip your vehicle with seat belts or properly fitting your reindeer with emission control devises

Not declaring as taxable income the mince pies and brandy left for you by millions each year.

Illegally competing with the Post Office

Possible breaking drug laws by administering an unauthorized drug to Rudolph to make his nose light up

Not having an MOT for the vehicle

Admitting driving whilst under the influence of millions of glasses of sherry

And finally, parking in a no parking zone, namely rooftops, and having no record of either a driver's or pilot's licence ever being issued to a Mister Claus

Faced with all these accusations and understanding their severity, have you any statement to make before I .. er . wish you a . . Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and dismiss all these charges?

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY READERS

[Canary42]

What, both of them ?