drinking to forget

[mr. piper]

Its a pity i have to ask this question, but how many of us is there drinking to excess? i know i do, i only drink at home but i drink 9% lager. it started with one of my lodgers not wanting to go out in the rain to get me a normal lager, but gave me one of his "supers", i now drink about 4-5 a day, my excuse was that i would rather have a couple of strong ones instead of a bellyfull, who was i kidding? i think that although i am fairly comfortable with my disabilities, i do have to make the effort to keep my thoughts positive, drink seems to make that easier to do. plus the fact that i now start to feel ill if i don't have a "super". i am very suprised at myself to end up like this, it is a strange process first of all it does do you some good, it would be stupid to say that there was no positive side to drinking, however flimsy an excuse that is, but no one would ever drink if it was all bad. it is just that it soon turns round and bites you in the ass. it is madness that i have added to my problems so willfully. if i could tell you how i have lived most of my life prior to my injuries you might be shocked at this aparent weakness. i am pretty sure that a lot of folks are in the same boat and don't want to admit it, perhaps they do get some solice from drink that they don't get from their family and friends, and it becomes their friend, and they rely on that friend that doesn't argue, let them down or criticise them, that would be a good friend to have if it was real. i don't actually get drunk anymore, i feel different drinking, but i never loll about or slur my speech, i don't have hangovers. i am generally cheerful if a little argumentative but never ever angry and no one has said "you must stop drinking". my GP says i am lucky to be alive and that i will find a way out of all of my problems, but then again he is an alcoholic!

by the way i have had no drink at all today i always babble on like this!

GOD BLESS.

[ICEMANSAV]

It is possible to get your self out of this situation, it is hard but is possible. It has always been said that you have to reach the bottom before you can climb again, you have done the first step by admitting your problem. Now comes the fight to bring your self out. I would suggest switching GP if you are sure he is an alcoholic as his advice will be based upon his own situation, and he may not be in a position that he will admit his problem. Try contacting the Alc Anon, they will have seen situations like yours countless times and will not judge or belittle you. be proud you have admitted your problem, many don't, seek their help, you will meet people in the same boat, and then you can start to rebuild your life.

 

Good luck and best wishes.

[ursula62]

Hi mr,piper

I'd suggest contacting Al Anon too, even if you only give their helpline a call. And I agree with Iceman about changing your GP. If your GP is part of a group practice, you may be able to speak to a counsellor or the practice nurse for some further advice.

The other thing to try (which works for me when I crave sweets - I'm diabetic and shouldn't eat them)... tell yourself you can have what you crave in half an hour, and go do something else for that time. Chances are that (a) you spend more than half an hour doing whatever it was and (b) by the time you finish doing the new thing the urge for what you craved isn't as strong as it was before.

Good luck

[jake-the-peg]

I used to be quite a drinker too. On a weekly basis I'd drink about a litre of spirits a bottle or two of wine and 8 or 10 beers. Mostly at home on my own so I couldn't claim it was sociable. Never sufferred too much from hangovers although it was starting to affect my stomach, a lot of indigestion problems.

I realised it was a problem when I realised that I had not had a day without alcohol for about 3 years and decided to stop. Totally. Cutting down never worked for me. It lasted about 10 months until I was on holiday and I reckoned that I'd proved that I could handle it and I'd just have the occasional drink. That's a good one! within 6 months I was back to square 1.  So after about a year I tried again. This time I realised that for some of us enough is never sufficient and that I was just going to have to get my head around never drinking again - ever, not a wedding toast, not a Christmas lunch, not a liqeur chocolate.

It's not been easy, in fact it's a damn sight harder than giving up smoking but that was New years day 2001 and I've not drunk since then.

I did it without AA but I hear they're good for some people. I can only say that my experience is that you have to make the decision and stik to it. My experience is also that when you tell people you start to find others in the same boat with surprising frequency in places you might not expect.

Like this.

[oxeyedaisy]

the best thing to do is if you cant stop alltogether ..try to cut down to a low alchol lager..and watch your vitamin levels..as alchol destroys a lot of them and you may find you are deficient in b12 which can cause you seriouse problems in the long term..including nerve damage which you cant heal easily..also alchol washes zinc out of your liver..you may end up with more problems than you allready have..try taking up an interest to take your mind off drink..you have allready said you drink to much so all you have to do now is cut it down or stop..best of luck i hope you do it if only for your health.. 

[barender]

Ditto to the above. Apart from all the obvious health benefits to giving up drinking (and financial) alcohol is a depressant, so, although you may feel like your troubles are less when drunk, they're still there next morning and it will probably make you feel gradually more depressed. I know it's not easy, (been there) but try to be positive about life. There are always people far worse off than yourself!  I wish you the very best and hope you can crack it!

[Hippy]

Even now, six years after I quit drinking, I am ashamed of those lost years and alienated friends and family. Maybe I was worse than you, often spending months in oblivion. I was working all this time and it's amazing how much other people cover up for you without even being asked! Then there's the boozing buddies. Really good mates. They help you out of any crisis and you them, but always the daily dose of alcohol, and the unspoken mutual approval reinforcing the rightness of it all.

I suppose I was at the point of just about losing everything when I quit. I had known I had a problem for a number of years, and can even remember occasional lucid thoughts like, "you must cut this down and be sensible". The final trigger was a word from a friend. I don't think he realised how what he said was so searing and to the point. I was in Hamburg visiting him and decided on the journey back to England that once I stepped off the boat at Newcastle I would be a non-drinker.

Back at home I chucked out the paraphernalia and told everyone my decision. Then the DTs struck and I was really bad for a couple of weeks, but was determined to see it through. Reluctantly I ditched those drinking buddies and found loads of nice people with whom to enjoy life.

I still get tempted and my booze starved cells yell out at times, telling me that one little drink will be ok. However, I know that one is too much, and a thousand would not be enough. The positive, so so positive, side of this is that I am now able to think creatively again and have rediscovered the joys of short and medium term memory. For me, there's no going back. I hope for you there is a way forward.

[Elfin]

If family and friends are important to you, be under no illusion - every time you crack open another can you are adding to the barrier you have put up between you and them.  My ex-husband drank in exactly the same way you describe - extra strong drink, plenty daily, didn't get drunk or slur and didn't have hangovers as such.  However, it went on for many unhappy years (for me anyway) and I ended up having to leave him as he had become a liability as both a partner and a father.  Unlike you, however, he never admitted he had a problem and still hasn't to this day, so you are already a cut above him!  You haven't lost that strength really have you...

Like any addiction, you have become used to the habit. As everyone else has said, you may need a hand to get to grips with it all and so go to those who know.  Or if you want to try yourself first, try using your former experience to apply discipline to the situation.

[mr. piper]

cheers people MR.P