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My Brother

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marval | 18:30 Sat 16th Jun 2018 | Jokes
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My brother has just been admitted to hospital after eating an entire CCTV camera. He’s being closely monitored.

Police are looking for the owner of stolen prosthetic leg. They are asking anyone with information to step forward.

I had my first ever lock-in at the pub yesterday. I do wish they would fix those toilet doors.

Did you know dogs cannot operate an MRI machine but cats can?

I often go out with a list of insults written on my sleeve. I am never stuck for an off the cuff remark.

I used to know an ice cream man, but he melted.

Latin name-Pollachius pollachius. They can grow over a metre in length and weigh over 20k.g from the ‘demersal’ group of fish, they are an important part of the North Atlantic fisheries. Sorry about that, I keep talking Pollocks.

My friend took the stand when he was a witness in court. Now he is back as the defendant for stealing courtroom furniture.

I went into a Poundstretcher this morning. Now I have got a pocket full of ovals.

I have just had my planning application for some land turned down. Ah well, best not dwell on it.
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Thanks marval, some good ones there.
You are still on form............

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