Sorry But ... No I'm Not!

[andy-hughes]

One of my pet hates is people who preface their opinion with "Sorry but ..."

Why be sorry?

You have an opinion, you think it's worth sharing, so why undermine your view by apologising for it before you have even given it.

The apex has been ex-MP Nadine Dorries offering her opinion on Philip Schofield.

Ms Dorries has landed a plum gig as a Mail columnist, and i am sure she is paid handsomely to air her views.

If, unlike the rest of us, a national newspaper values her opinions enough to splash them over its pages and pay her to offer them, why on earth is she apologising for said opinions?

She has 'no sympathy for Phillip Schofield ..'

Fair enough, but why on earth does she have to be 'sorry' about it?

If an opinion is worth sharing - and that means from everyone, not just people paid to rant - then the holder should have the courage of their convictions and not be offering mealy-mouthed apologies for saying what they think.

Say it or not, but don't be 'sorry' for saying it.

[Bobbisox1]

Sorry but I have to agree Andy :0/
One of mine is At the end of the day ( do we kneel and pray? )

[douglas9401]

It's not 'an apology' but a device to preface what the writer believes to be controversial.

[William51]

I know what you mean, sorry is such an easy get out word to use.

[andy-hughes]

douglas - // It's not 'an apology' but a device to preface what the writer believes to be controversial. //

Then why not say - 'This may be a controversial view but ...'

The word 'sorry' is universally accepted as an apology.

[royfromaus]

Douglas is right

She is saying sorry to the people she may offend, she's not saying sorry for what she is saying.

That imo is a universally accepted way of using sorry.

[douglas9401]

It's shorthand, like journalists use.

[andy-hughes]

roy - // She is saying sorry to the people she may offend, she's not saying sorry for what she is saying. //

Then that is simply playing lip service in advance.

Anyone and everyone risks 'offence' by saying anything, but in my view, we cannot live in a society where we are so afraid of offfence that we spend our time apologising for it in advance, just in case.

I express my views on here - if someone is offended, then we can discuss it, but I would never apologise in advance in case I 'may' offend someone.

That simply encourages the professional offence-takers who already wield far too much power as it is.

[andy-hughes]

douglas - // It's shorthand, like journalists use. //

I also get paid to put my opinions in print, and have never, and would never preface any opinion with "Sorry but ...", it undermines the validity of my view before I have even expressed it.

[douglas9401]

Now you're being obtuse, this is pointless.

[youngmafbog]

Sorry but I have to agree with AH.

So, what else is there to say :-)

[andy-hughes]

douglas - // Now you're being obtuse, this is pointless. //

Shouldn;t that be "Sorry, but now you're being obtuse, this is pointless."?

[andy-hughes]

YMB - // So, what else is there to say :-) //

LOL!

[vulcan42]

I was going to suggest that this similar to people saying sorry when they almost bump into each other? Neither are at fault and neither need to say it, it's just an acknowledgement that another person is there. On reflection this might not be an exact analogy, in this case it happens at the time of contact and in a newspaper ahead of contact. Perhaps it comes down to, a word not often used today, courtesy.

[andy-hughes]

Vulcan - I am all for courtesy, but this is not it.

This is cowtowing to a potential minority who 'may' be offended.

That's not the way a society should operate.

Being offended is part of adult experience, no-one can expect strangers to bow down in advance to possible offence-takers, it's nonsense.

[roopower]

What upsets me is when people break down, perhaps in an interview talking about someone who has died and they apologise for crying. There's nothing wrong with being upset and no need to apologise. I suppose it's a british thing.

[naomi24]

‘Sorry’ in instances like this isn’t an apology. It’s a figure of speech that translates as ‘tough’. She’s not sorry - she’s saying ‘offend or please, this is my opinion’.

[andy-hughes]

naomi - // ‘Sorry’ in instances like this isn’t an apology. It’s a figure of speech that translates as ‘tough’. She’s not sorry - she’s saying ‘offend or please, this is my opinion’. //

I, and millions of other people, manage to offer an opinion, written or verbal, without the unecessary 'shorthand' to say "Whether you are offended or not, this is my opinion ...'.

That rather goes with the notion of expressing an opinion in the first place!

I don;t notice many people apologising - and that is what it is, however you want to slice it - for their opinion, and whether they offend someone, or not, and it's tough if they do ...

Who can be bothered with that nonsense?

As I said earlier, if an opinion offends, we can discuss it, but let's start from a presumption that it automatically will, and say sorry for it.

[andy-hughes]

Sorry (!) - that's 'Let's NOT start ...'

[Old_Geezer]

They are sorry that what they are about to point out may upset the listener, but they feel they need it to be said anyway. It's an empathic issue, not wanting to upset another knowing how it may feel.

[chelle7272]

It has it's place. I often use it in work meetings as it is less likely to inflame conversations. My job often involves reminding staff of rules and procedures which aren't always popular but are in compliance with the law, so I find it quite useful!.