What Do I Say To This Man?

[abbeylee90]

This man I've mentioned from dogs home told me I'm general conversation he going out for lunch later to this pub and I asked had I been before he said happy to take but I never want to go anymore do I reply to that? 

[scorpiojo]

//I might be overreacting but this man I volunteer with takes me out alot bought me a watch ⌚️ and asked me to this rock cocnert. He 60+ and 31//

Oct 2023

[davebro3]

Tell him NO & that if he doesn't stop calling you are going to report him to the police as a stalker. Do it NOW before it goes any further.

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, just say 'no' firmly and stop getting into casual conversations with this man (who makes you feel uncomfortable, who has made you feel uncomfortable for months and months). 

 

[scorpiojo]

He's not a stalker. Abbey was happy to accept meals, outings, lifts, a watch, and texts from him until recently.

[abbeylee90]

Might sound rude but I ignored him today when he came to see he dog he use to walk 

[barry1010]

Good for you, he'll get the message.

[abbeylee90]

Yeah maybe that why he stayed longer till I came back from my walk. He even said to me I never want go out with him anymore.

[abbeylee90]

I haven't heard from him so guess so 

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, he's said that (I never want to go out with him no more) to you several times over the past few months... the message is getting through!

[Prudie]

Why are you all saying good for you etc etc.?? This man is a human being who must have been led up the garden path, why don't you have some sympathy for him? Abbey you've dissed him online repeatedly, you've also been told what to do about him hundreds of times.

[Neveracrossword]

Prudie, I have a lot of sympathy for the man -but Abbey has never been able to deal with him 'normally', so it'd be good iof he was left in peace and good if Abbey didn't have any more of her 'dilemmas'!

[lankeela]

I see it more as he has been taking advantage of Abbey's reluctant to say 'no' as she didn't really know how to tell him she didn't want to go out with him or his creepy friends, or accept lifts. 

 

Abbey you have been very strong since you decided to stop having anything to do with him, please don't let him guilt trip you into seeing him again.  

[scorpiojo]

I think Abbey has been happy to spend time with us man until

//Well real reason I feel uncomfortable and I should be going out with someone who I'm actually seeing and feel like I'll be single forever hanging out with him all the time//

and I think it is very unfair that he has been talked about as if he's some kind of stalker, or "creepy".

[scorpiojo]

* with this  man

[lankeela]

You mean when he sits in his car waiting for her to walk home?  I call that creepy and bordering on stalking.  And as for wanting a young female to go out with five or six of his old men friends - who knows what they had in mind?  

 

Remember Abbey has difficulties with understanding people's intentions and her emotional responses are not always what you or I might say or do.  

[scorpiojo]

? He drives past her in the street apparently, not sitting waiting for her. He phones and texts her and she replies.

[lankeela]

So he just 'happens' to be driving past her when she is walking home and he has nothing better to do?  Bit of a coincidence don't you think?  

[scorpiojo]

If Abbey has said that he waits for her to walk home, I haven't seen that, Lankeela. 

[Hazlinny]

I don't think that man should be termed a stalker.  If you continue to be in contact with him, Abbey, then he maybe sees that as encouragement - it is possible to be friends but you have to make it absolutely clear - no gifts, no pub lunches, etc.

[scorpiojo]

I understand what you're saying about Abbey's difficulties, but I think she possibly could have explained her feelings about this man in a better way, and then perhaps people wouldn't have been talking about him in such a negative way...

It is not the man who makes Abbey uncomfortable, it is being without a boyfriend her own age.