Boy confusion!

[kezia_88]

I have liked this boy for ages and I mean years then about 6 months ago I got his number we were txting we met but I found out he liked my mate not me I was gutted, so of course I tried to put myself of him didnt really work but I had other people who I saw, then at an 18th couple of weeks ago I met himt here we were speaking and got off a couple of times, then fromt here on he was all like I really like you and evrything which made me happy! I still really liked him but then about a week ago me and my mate were at a party and he came down with his friends to meet me when me n mate got started on by these boys so did the boy I like and his mates, but all james and his mates (the boy I like) did was liek walk away leaving me and my mate to get started on! It hurt me the fact that he just left me so I didn't really fancy him anymore, but now like we are talkign again and he still likes me he said he didn't run away sort of thign and made up these excuses which I duno if i believe, we went cinema last night and everything went well I suppose he paid etc etc but for some reason I just dont fancy him since this night I wanna know why????because I liekd him so much! My m8 says its like I let boys get so close to me then shoot them away like a bullet shes right I do this to all boys but why?????

Sorry Its so long all help is appreciated!!!!

xxxxxxx

[Linzi84]

He's certainly not much of a man to just leave you and your friend to get hurt!! I am not surprised you don't fancy him anymore I think his actions were disgraceful!! The reason you don't fancy him anymore is because you have now learnt what he is like inside as a person, and to me he doesn't seem very nice/caring etc which is what you found out. It will definitely be easier for you to move on now you have realised you are not too keen on him anymore. You don't need that s**t, you and you friend could have got seriously hurt that night and was he there to protect you??? NO!

[ursula62]

Hi Kezia_88

I don't know how old you are, but even if you are still a teenager let me assure you that things don't get an awful lot better when you're a fully fledged adult!

 

As you get older the only thing that changes is YOU  - you learn more about what you want, you feel stronger and more sure of yourself, and are then less likely to be taken advantage of or misunderstood.

For the time being, why not just treat this boy as a chum, rather than a potential boyfriend?

Let him pay to take you to the cinema if he wants to. Enjoy his company as a friend if that's what you want. But don't do anything else with him unless you really, really want to.

Take some time to think about who you spend your time with, and what you give to and get from the relationships you have. If it helps, make lists - you can always shred or burn them once you've made up your mind.

Go out with your girl friends (mates) and meet lots of new people (boys *and* girls - you can never have too many friends), but don't be too anxious to pair up with someone. There's plenty of time to do that when you're older.

I probably sound very old fashioned to you, but honestly, it IS best to get to know someone as a friend before deciding to go out/get off with them. While you're young, go out with lots of different boys and have a good time with them.

 

Although it's agony to you at the moment, you're not the only one and this problem isn't a new one - it's been around for ages... at one time, my mother had seven boyfriends at once, and allocated one night of the week to each of them before deciding to marry my dad!

Good luck, and don't be led into doing things you'd rather not do.

[Scarlett]

You must remember that 18 year old boys are generally very immature. Also I think you probably built him up in your mind to be some sort of god, for all those years you liked him. Then when you saw what he was like in reality, it didn't match up!

[Hyphen]

You need a hero!

Subconciously, all women want a man that can act as a protector to them, it's all part of the history of man and things we subconciously look for in a mate.  This James fella sounds like a right plant pot who doesn't know how to treat a lady when it matters.

The reason you don't find him attractive anymore is because you now know that when push comes to shove (literally) he'll be strolling out that door to leave you to pick up the pieces.  He sounds like a coward to me and they're always the ones to be careful of so be warned.

[El21]

You're a moran you common toad!  You stupid malingering tart!!!!!!!!!!!

[_Poizon_]

Hey, I'd say you liked him too much before you really knew him, and now you know what he is really like you are disappointed. You don't fancy him anymore now because he wasn't what you had built him up to be in your mind during those years that you liked him.

If he left you and your mate to get beaten up then he is not worth it, and making excuses is even worse. And it sounds like he was practically begging you to like him again. Ditch him like he ditched you when you got ''started on''.

(Oh yeah, word of advice: Think about what you are writing before you write it as your question didn't totally make alot of sense, had lots of grammar and punctuation mistakes and wrote ''like'' a few too many times! Sorry, I probably sound like an english teacher now lol!)

Hope my advice helps!

x x x x x

[Le Chat]

Your grammar, punctuatution and spelling is appalling! Go back to studying before you start worrying about boys!!

[bernardo]

I read through the first four lines of your "question" and then I gave up.  If you want to ask a proper question then you should make an effort to spell and punctuate it correctly, so that people can have an idea of what you are talking about.

[bernardo]

Try this:

 

I have liked this boy for ages - and I mean years - then, about six months ago, I got his number.  We were texting; we met, but I found out he liked my mate, not me.  I was gutted, so of course I tried to put myself off him.  It didn't really work, but I had other people whom I saw.

 

Then at an 18th [sic] a couple of weeks ago, I met him there.  We were speaking and got off [sic] a couple of times, then from there on he was all like "I really like you" and everything, which made me happy! I still really liked him, but then about a week ago, my mate and I were at a party and he came down with his friends to meet me. My mate and I got started on [sic] by these boys.  So did the boy I like and his mates.  But all James (the boy I like) and his mates did was to walk away, leaving me and my mate to get started on [sic]!

 

The fact that he just left me hurt me - so I didn't really fancy him anymore - but now we are talking again, and he still likes me.  He said he didn't run away (sort of thing) and made up those excuses (which I don't know if i believe).  We went to the cinema last night and everything went well. I suppose he paid etc., but for some reason I just don't fancy him since then.  I want to know why?   I liked him so much! My mate says it's as if I let boys get so close to me then shoot them away like a bullet.  She's right - I do this to all boys, but why?

 

It depends what "started on" means.

[kezia_88]

Sorry, I just write down what I'm thinking, ill try and write more appropriatley in the future, can you tell im 16 lol! The thing is I'm in top english!

[Le Chat]

A sad reflection on the state of the educational system if you are top in English!!! My 8 yr old can spell better that that! (Private school though - could make all the difference in these times!)

[kezia_88]

I write like that on purpose so please dont put me down like that I find it rather offensive I said I do it on purpose so please dont go comparing me to your 8 year old because I know how to spell very well indeed actually, but maybe I just forget sometimes when I write quickly because that's what I do when I text!

[Le Chat]

Yes ok! You're not on text here though. You are writing with perhaps several hundred people viewing your words, so it is important that they can understand you, if nothing else!

[landie]

I guess it was 'peer pressure', not wanting to appear different from his friends. Get him alone he will be more responsive.