Will my married man ever leave?

[sallyann16]

In a nutshell, I met him 2 years ago at a work conference. He told he was being kicked out of the house by his wife, but was desperate to stay because of their two children.
We started a relationship and he soon readily agreed to a divorce from his wife. However, wife then changed her mind and persuaded him to stay, but he still wanted to keep hold of me as their marriage was one purely of convenience for the kids.
He suggested buying me a ring to show his commitment, then got cold feet over that.
He then said he would stay at home for four more years until the younger boy starts secondary school.
He lives 200 miles away and at first we saw each often - but the last time was 7 months ago, though we text and phone all day every day.
I know the answer to my question really, but I need help in breaking free of this soul-destroying relationship. My self esteem is in tatters but that is what keeps me there, I suppose.
I suspect I am also addicted to the adrenalin and rollercoaster ride but it's all massively stressful and I want to have the self confidence to say, no - I deserve more.

[redcrx]

you havnt seen him for 7 months but text and phone everyday. who texts who? who makes the calls?

[dotty.]

he'll probably have someone else on the go closer to home anyway. move on,

[askyourgran]

sallyann You've answered your own question. Why waste your life on this loser, 2 years is quite long enough to find out that his promises mean nothing. Get a life.

[rosie1965]

yes you do you deserve better.if he wont commit to you leave him where he is.

[tballrossi]

get rid of the plonker, he's just using you, and will never leave his wife and kids

[B00]

Good Lord, it's no longer a relationship if you haven't seen him for 7 months!

Move on, he obviously has.

[ummmm]

Stick with it if you're prepared to wait four years...then you'll know.

[mazie]

If a friend came to you with this very same problem what would you advise her to do sallyann ?

[ladybirder]

You sound just like a friend of mine who has been waiting 5.5 years for her man to leave his wife. Same excuses, can't leave because of the kids. You know what you should do. Pity his poor wife.

[sallyann16]

Just to clarify, we haven't seen each other for 7 months as three meetings in between had to be cancelled by one or other of us. I think that because he has moved the goalposts SO much my heart isn't into meeting for sex anyway - it's not like he's suddenly turn round and say - actually, yes, I'm going to leave my wife IMMEDIATELY!

[pa___ul3]

Don't mean to sound harsh but give your head a wobble lass! You have to face the harsh truth but it will make you stronger. Don't be so naive next time!

[DTCwordfan]

"On his bike" in short. "Tell him to buqqer off." And I am a male.......I think.

[B00]

ok, so you're saying that even within those 7 months, you'd have only seen him 3 times anyway? I see my dentist more times than that (sadly)

[sallyann16]

Well I've said to him (today in fact) that's fine, let's see what happens in four years, but in the meantime I'm going to get on with my life and if I'm still around then, all well and good.
Is that good, everyone?

[askyourgran]

But quite handy with the baby oil sallyann ;-)) nudge nudge,(DT)

[cazzz1975]

no, dont believe the "marriage of convienience" line either.

you have wasted 2 years of your life already, he will not leave his wife, he just wants to keep you both happy in case you blab to his wife.

get some self respect and move on

[ummmm]

No it's not 'good'...if you're holding onto the hope that he will honour his word in four years...Mr right could have been and gone...