It's The Law

marval | 22:23 Thu 20th Mar 2014 | Jokes

4 Answers

A man who had never been in a court of law before was put on the stand as a witness.

The court stenographer recorded every word he said.

The man started to talk faster.

The stenographer's fingers flew across her keyboard.

The man spoke even faster, but finally came to an abrupt halt and said, "Miss, will you stop writing so fast? I can't keep up with you!"

Jeff stood up in court. "As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money."

Glaring down at him, the judge replied, "He's not. I am. You do."

A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big case for his company.

It included hourly billing for conferences, research, phone calls, and everything but lunch hours.

Unhappy as he was, the executive knew that the company would have to pay for each of these services.

Then he noticed one item buried in the middle of the list.

For crossing the street to talk to you, then discovering it wasn’t you after all $125.

"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said.

"And I've decided to give your wife £575 a week,"

"That's very fair, your honour," the husband said.

"And every now and then I'll try to send her a few pounds myself,"