ChatterBank10 mins ago
Domestic Abh Advice
I’ve been arrested for abh as my partner has filed a complaint.
It’s the first time I’ve ever been arrested, complaint filed for bruising to eye area. Mitigation is that it was self defence after I was initially assaulted. There were hours of alcohol involved on both sides (6 hours more on partners side) ,a fuelled by alcohol domestic incident.
My partner or somebody she knows (married to policeman) has lodged the complaint ( a few days later )which is unsigned by her.
I was arrested gave a statement to police with my side of the events citing self defence. Advised by legal aid to give prepared statement and no comment at interview to questions. The upshot is that I have not been charged, but bailed with a strict no contacting of my partner for 30 days pending further investigation.We have young children involved, I can contact them by phone but any personal contact must be through a third party. I’m already aware that my partner is likely having deep regret at what’s happened but feel she is being guided by her friend. If we need anything it’s a relation counsellor not being kept apart pending further investigation.
I’m feeling very isolated and terrified at where this may go. Just reaching out for any thoughts about a likely outcome and how people managed things like this.
Thanking in advance.
It’s the first time I’ve ever been arrested, complaint filed for bruising to eye area. Mitigation is that it was self defence after I was initially assaulted. There were hours of alcohol involved on both sides (6 hours more on partners side) ,a fuelled by alcohol domestic incident.
My partner or somebody she knows (married to policeman) has lodged the complaint ( a few days later )which is unsigned by her.
I was arrested gave a statement to police with my side of the events citing self defence. Advised by legal aid to give prepared statement and no comment at interview to questions. The upshot is that I have not been charged, but bailed with a strict no contacting of my partner for 30 days pending further investigation.We have young children involved, I can contact them by phone but any personal contact must be through a third party. I’m already aware that my partner is likely having deep regret at what’s happened but feel she is being guided by her friend. If we need anything it’s a relation counsellor not being kept apart pending further investigation.
I’m feeling very isolated and terrified at where this may go. Just reaching out for any thoughts about a likely outcome and how people managed things like this.
Thanking in advance.
Answers
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calmck, James has said that personal contact with the children must be through a third party, so he can see them at least.
It is impossible to forecast the likely outcome. You cited self-defence as your defence but we don't know what your partner has said. She might deny attacking you, she might claim self-defence or extreme provocation (also a valid defence).
Abide by the conditions of your bail and stay sober.
It is impossible to forecast the likely outcome. You cited self-defence as your defence but we don't know what your partner has said. She might deny attacking you, she might claim self-defence or extreme provocation (also a valid defence).
Abide by the conditions of your bail and stay sober.
Our children are young, primary school age. I was told by the duty sgt that I can speak by phone with them and text. Contact personally is through a 3rd party. I appreciate the help and guidance. Just feel so alone and upset it’s got to this stage and that the bail conditions seem so draconian for a family that wants to be together but have rules and regulations stipulated by police. At the same time I understand they must conduct their investigations.
James, you can surely understand the reason for the bail conditions. You have admitted to both you and your partner being drunk and both of you being violent. That is not a good environment for children and the police have to be sure that home is a safe place for them.
You say that you know your partner has deep regret for what has happened - as if it is all her fault. That is not the attitude to present to the police.
You say that you know your partner has deep regret for what has happened - as if it is all her fault. That is not the attitude to present to the police.
The only way to prove that you are not normally a violent person, ir regularly under the influence of alcohol, it to abide by the rules.
The outcome is likely to be fine if you do that. and with any luck your partner will withdraw the charges or admit to being equally to blame, but keep your head down for now.
Did you have a friend or family member who can help you to meet up with the children sometime ?
The outcome is likely to be fine if you do that. and with any luck your partner will withdraw the charges or admit to being equally to blame, but keep your head down for now.
Did you have a friend or family member who can help you to meet up with the children sometime ?
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