Writing letters to ex-work colleagues

[SurreyGuy]

I got "stitched-up" by my last employer about 6 months ago. I am not prepared to go into details about what happened, suffice to say I sought legal advice and was told I was in the right. I acted on that advice, stood my ground and was "paid" to leave and the company agreed not to disclose any details to any perspective employers.

I am now happy in a new job, but I still feel very angry about the way certain people 9including some who purported to be my friends) behaved during the "goings on". To this end, I am contemplating writing to some of them expressing my disappointment. I do not intend the letters to be aggressive or threatening - I merely wish to tell them my thoughts.

If you were in my position, would you be worried about my former employer contacting my new one and this whole thing coming back to "bite me in the bum"?

BTW, I know I could adopt the "it's in the past, so let it go and move on" attitude, but I'm a great believer in people being allowed to voice their feelings - something which I was not able to do during what went on.

T.I.A.

[SurreyGuy]

Thanks again sue.

I think you'll find that if my old company had thought I was a bad worker/person, they would not have actualy been allowed (by law) to say that - they would simply have been allowed to refuse a reference, which (in my mind) says you're crap anyway!).

You are completely right, though in your saying that I need "closure" which is what I have been trying to say all along. I don't care what my old colleagues think of me, I merely wish THEm to know MY opinion of THEM - even if they don't care abour it. If I at least knew I'd told them, then that would be "closure" enough for me.

[sue11]

Hi again surreyguy. I think as you are coming across as so sensible about this whole episode. there is not much danger that you are going to do something without putting a lot of careful thought into the possible repucussions!
I think as long as you are comfortable in what action you are taking, then go with whatever you think will make you feel better, after all that is the whole reason for you to type this question in the first place!
Once again all the best for now and for the future, I am sure you will make a success of it!
Cheers Sue

[SurreyGuy]

Thanks sue x

[Peter Pedant]

No dont write
Face forward - you have a new job and get on with it.
Hearking back will do you or them no good at all. What do you expect them to do ? Come and knock on your door with tears streaming down their faces ? They won't. They MIGHT stick the letter on the canteen board for everyone to have a good laugh at.

Don't write - it's a rough world,and you've learned

[SurreyGuy]

Thanks for that PP - you obviously don't know what it was like to feel frustrated at not getting the chance to tell those people what I thought?

As I've said in previous postings, I don't expect them to do ANYTHING and I don't care if they put my letters on the canteen board!

[buttons]

You've had an awful lot of responses - ive not read through them all yet but i just wanted to share something with you. In my last job a colleague of mine left to join another company we kept in touch and had a great friendship. An opportunity came up at his new office that he thought would be idea for me � so he asked me about it and then recommended me to his management. I had a meeting with them and accepted an offer to join him with his new employers. I settled in well in the first few days and then the Monday of the second week I was called into the directors office and was told that my friend would be suspended that day for gross misconduct and as his direct line manager it was down to me to officially suspend him. I had to do an awful lot of soul searching about whether I wanted this job after that. Needless to say over time our friendship has disintegrated completely.

About 6months after it happened I bumped into him at a bar and he basically accused me of being responsible for him losing his job, which in turn lost him his house. He had no idea of the torment I had to go through because of what had happened to him. I still feel awful when I think of what happened but there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I know this is not the same as your situation, I guess im just trying to say look at it from the other side before you do anything.

[SurreyGuy]

I'm sorry to hear of your experience, but I do not see how/why I should EVER try to understand how people who I thought were my friends could lie about me, talk about me behind my back and then "hang me out to dry".

[buttons]

i completely understand - but thats what he thought i had done to him and it was not the case at all. Even to this day he thinks im in someway responsible and doesnt want to hear any form of explanation.

i hope you can find closure at some point.

[SurreyGuy]

Well I KNOW what "my" conspirators did.

I hope that you and your (ex) friend CAN sort things out.

[buttons]

I fear it is too far in the past now, but many thanks for your concern

[caz247]

Around 3 years ago i was in a similar situation working in the public sector. A random audit showed huge discrepancies in money of which the finger was pointed at me. They refused initially when i asked to bring in the police so i had to "leave" in order for an investigation to open. I have no prob telling you the bigger picture although not on here. the point i am stressing is when it happened not one of my so called friends kept in touch and i have not spoken to even one of them. It bothered me at first and like you i was angry and upset at these accusations. However as time has passed i do not give any of them a thought and wouldn't care if i never seen any of them again.
I know exactly how you feel about telling your side of the story but believe me you are too good for them.


caz x

[SurreyGuy]

Thanks caz.