Oh Fell. It Seems To Have Triggered...
Body & Soul0 min ago
child maintenance
40 Answers
i'm a full time mum to my just turned 1 year old son (so obviously i'm on benefits) i had a letter sent through yesterday saying somebody would phone today about child maintenance.
i didn't ask for them to be involved, i don't see that there is any need for them to be involved. my partner (we are still together, although we don't live together - we are both young and couldn't afford to live together atm plus where i live is a nice area, nice house and i also have my nan to help out also etc etc etc) pays half of whatever our son needs be it clothes, nappies, wipes, toys, food etc etc aswell as putting �20 amonth away in savings for him.
surly my partner shouldn't have to pay child maintenance when he is already doing his fair share? (50/50) can they make him pay child support aswell as expecting him to pay half of everything? my partner is on a low income wage and works hard for his money, and just about manages to live on what he earns. i don't want to 'take' my partners money off him, nor do i want my son to miss out because his daddy has to pay extra money to the above department, when really there is no need to.
today the above department phoned up asking the usual questions and said it could be a few months before they get back to me with their findings. if my partner does have to pay any money, will he be expected to pay back pay? although from before our son was born he was paying half then also (clothes, cot, pram, bedding, supplies etc etc etc)
any help and advice would be fantastic - thank you! the only people i know who this has happened to has happened cause the father wasn't paying any money at all or taking no interest what so ever, which is the complete opposite of my partner.
xXx
i didn't ask for them to be involved, i don't see that there is any need for them to be involved. my partner (we are still together, although we don't live together - we are both young and couldn't afford to live together atm plus where i live is a nice area, nice house and i also have my nan to help out also etc etc etc) pays half of whatever our son needs be it clothes, nappies, wipes, toys, food etc etc aswell as putting �20 amonth away in savings for him.
surly my partner shouldn't have to pay child maintenance when he is already doing his fair share? (50/50) can they make him pay child support aswell as expecting him to pay half of everything? my partner is on a low income wage and works hard for his money, and just about manages to live on what he earns. i don't want to 'take' my partners money off him, nor do i want my son to miss out because his daddy has to pay extra money to the above department, when really there is no need to.
today the above department phoned up asking the usual questions and said it could be a few months before they get back to me with their findings. if my partner does have to pay any money, will he be expected to pay back pay? although from before our son was born he was paying half then also (clothes, cot, pram, bedding, supplies etc etc etc)
any help and advice would be fantastic - thank you! the only people i know who this has happened to has happened cause the father wasn't paying any money at all or taking no interest what so ever, which is the complete opposite of my partner.
xXx
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well i don't even know what the out come is yet, according to the women on the phone this morning it will take a 'few months' for a decision to be made. so that could mean even more money we have to pay back and there's nothing i can do because there is a 'back log'
on an evening there isn't anybody to look after my son, my partner works silly shift hours (he does get told two weeks in advance sometimes, but what kind of employer will want to employ somebody like me who doesn't know what days or times she can deffinitly work?) and my nan is out most evenings and there isn't anybody else to look after my son. my idea was wait til my son was at school then go back to college and try and build up a career again the idea of leaving him with somebody i don't know (in a creche or with a baby sitter/child minder) terrifies me after hearing some of the tv programmes about what has happened.
xXx
on an evening there isn't anybody to look after my son, my partner works silly shift hours (he does get told two weeks in advance sometimes, but what kind of employer will want to employ somebody like me who doesn't know what days or times she can deffinitly work?) and my nan is out most evenings and there isn't anybody else to look after my son. my idea was wait til my son was at school then go back to college and try and build up a career again the idea of leaving him with somebody i don't know (in a creche or with a baby sitter/child minder) terrifies me after hearing some of the tv programmes about what has happened.
xXx
it wouldn't be easier nor would anybody be better off.
we wouldn't have the support of my nan or the help. she helps with everything. where we live is a nice area and the house is nice. i don't want to move to an awful council estate, i grew up on one and i don't want my son to. not only that but it would mean disrupting my son and his routine and he adores my nan and vice vers and i don't wanna disrupt him so moving in together isn't an option.
plus i think i would end up killing my boyfriend if we had to live together and share absolutly everything and that could be a problem :p and as far as marriage goes well that's just another ring to wear, a different surname and a piece of paper - i don't see the need for that at all really.
if you read my original question you'd know that i was asking why on earth they was basically accusing my partner of not paying anything and demanding to know the ins and outs. i didn't know it was the i/s that was causing the trouble - i thought it was the child benefit that was, which i couldnt understand cause as far as i was aware every body was entitled to it. and i didn't realise my partner helping with his sons needs wasn't what was supposed to happen, i also said i thought that department only got envolved when the father wasn't interested at all. what i was trying to get across was that no matter what you do you can't win.
anyway i got the answers i wanted so thats the end of it.
xXx
we wouldn't have the support of my nan or the help. she helps with everything. where we live is a nice area and the house is nice. i don't want to move to an awful council estate, i grew up on one and i don't want my son to. not only that but it would mean disrupting my son and his routine and he adores my nan and vice vers and i don't wanna disrupt him so moving in together isn't an option.
plus i think i would end up killing my boyfriend if we had to live together and share absolutly everything and that could be a problem :p and as far as marriage goes well that's just another ring to wear, a different surname and a piece of paper - i don't see the need for that at all really.
if you read my original question you'd know that i was asking why on earth they was basically accusing my partner of not paying anything and demanding to know the ins and outs. i didn't know it was the i/s that was causing the trouble - i thought it was the child benefit that was, which i couldnt understand cause as far as i was aware every body was entitled to it. and i didn't realise my partner helping with his sons needs wasn't what was supposed to happen, i also said i thought that department only got envolved when the father wasn't interested at all. what i was trying to get across was that no matter what you do you can't win.
anyway i got the answers i wanted so thats the end of it.
xXx
if your nana is so great and helps out so much then perhaps ask her to babysit when shes not out (ie during the day) and work a couple of hours.
Living together is what most people call a family now, you dont need to be married but surely your child needs to see some sort of stability with parents who live together.
Of course, the CSA will only be chasing your partner if they think the two of you have seperated, If you are still a couple they will happily drop and Child support payments. Mind you, you will probably have to declare joint earnings.
If you are intending to go back to college and get a career once your child is at school wheres the harm in getting a council house now. A child learns from its parents and it would do him good to see you improve your standard of living and your earnings over the years. And housing association houses tend to be built on new mixed estates now, wheres the problem with that?
Living together is what most people call a family now, you dont need to be married but surely your child needs to see some sort of stability with parents who live together.
Of course, the CSA will only be chasing your partner if they think the two of you have seperated, If you are still a couple they will happily drop and Child support payments. Mind you, you will probably have to declare joint earnings.
If you are intending to go back to college and get a career once your child is at school wheres the harm in getting a council house now. A child learns from its parents and it would do him good to see you improve your standard of living and your earnings over the years. And housing association houses tend to be built on new mixed estates now, wheres the problem with that?
i decided to have sex yes and i decided to not use anything , but i didn't want my son at 1st (as awful as that sounds but i'm just being honest) for these exact reasons where would we live? who with? with what money? what about jobs? college? how would we cope etc etc. but my family and my partners family said it's ok we will all help you out both with looking after the baby and finacially you don't need to worry you will get your life back and you can go straight back to college etc etc etc - only life doesn't always work out how you expect it to does it?
the original idea was to go back to college after i had the baby, when i was pregnant i had to leave college as i had symphsis pubis dysfunction - i couldn't walk let alone go to college so i had to leave my course early meaning i'd have to start the entire year all over, i also went up to 17st when pregnant, lost all self confidence and belief in myself - so i didn't and still don't have the confidence to go back to college or get a job because i'm scared (my grandad is coming to college with me tomorrow so i wont have to go alone) although i've lost a few stone now so i am getting my confidence back plus me and my partners family fell out - they arn't there to look after my son while i go to college or get a job or to help out with buying anything for him and my mum found out she was pregnant again and now has a 3month old child so her helping out isn't at all possible as she has her hands full.
xXx
the original idea was to go back to college after i had the baby, when i was pregnant i had to leave college as i had symphsis pubis dysfunction - i couldn't walk let alone go to college so i had to leave my course early meaning i'd have to start the entire year all over, i also went up to 17st when pregnant, lost all self confidence and belief in myself - so i didn't and still don't have the confidence to go back to college or get a job because i'm scared (my grandad is coming to college with me tomorrow so i wont have to go alone) although i've lost a few stone now so i am getting my confidence back plus me and my partners family fell out - they arn't there to look after my son while i go to college or get a job or to help out with buying anything for him and my mum found out she was pregnant again and now has a 3month old child so her helping out isn't at all possible as she has her hands full.
xXx
so after all that i thought well if i stay at home with my son until he's in nursery or maybe reception then i can go and get a job in his school hours, but i don't want a dead end job - i want to do something i'm proud of, something that's going to mean something other than just to pay the bills that's why i don't want to sit behind a check out all day. so hopfully by going back to college i can actually get some qualfications that might just help me to get a good job. also the course i'm looking at is a few hours a week which means i wont have to leave my son for hours and hours at a time, and level 2+ of the course will be when he's getting ready for nursery/in nursery or even reception and they do a schools out type class for the courses im looking at so hopfully i will also get to see my son and better my self :D
xXx
xXx
ok, 1) you partner helping out with money IS what is supposed to happen, it's just that you are supposed to declare it, so you dont get overpaid benefits.
And 2) grrrrrrrrr what the hell is wrong with social housing?? (presumably the same thing that's wrong with working in tesco)
and 3) of cousre they are accusing your b/f of not helping out, because you haven't told them he is! as long as you are claiming benefits they have every right to ask about the ins and outs of both your finances. if you want it to be private you always have to option not to apply for means tested benefits!
And 2) grrrrrrrrr what the hell is wrong with social housing?? (presumably the same thing that's wrong with working in tesco)
and 3) of cousre they are accusing your b/f of not helping out, because you haven't told them he is! as long as you are claiming benefits they have every right to ask about the ins and outs of both your finances. if you want it to be private you always have to option not to apply for means tested benefits!
thats all well and good, i admire your wish to get good qualifications and a good job. But the point is that if thats what you want to do and you want to wait then you should have to make do with the money that you get from the benefits. If you want more money to live off then take a job until you are in a position to do the college course and get the better job.
In the meantime, make sure youre honest with your income and the fact that you and your partner are still a couple with a joint income.
In the meantime, make sure youre honest with your income and the fact that you and your partner are still a couple with a joint income.
oh dear. i've said numerous times that i didn't understand why they was asking about my partner! as i have said (numberous times) that i thought it was about child benefit, not i/s! i have also said i didn't realise my sons farther buying him things was classed as an 'income'.
my questions have been answered so can you just leave it?
my questions have been answered so can you just leave it?
they are asking about your partner as they think that you are single, which you are not. this effects your benefits and how they then try and claim money from him. The fact that you are a couple (albeit not living together) means that you are classed as having a joint income, which counts towards any means tested benefits.
It may mean that you can claim family or even working tax credits so it might not all count against you.
It may mean that you can claim family or even working tax credits so it might not all count against you.
Hi ConfusedMum :-)
I'm presuming your boyfriend gave you cash and it wasn't transferred into your bank account.
How do you pay for everything? do you take it out at the cashpoint? or pay by switch?
You must start keeping all your bank statements if you dont already ok?
Have the last 6 months statements ready. Go through them with a fine toothcomb with a highlighter pen...... marking every transaction and what it was for.
If you dont have the statements get the bank to get you copies.
Keep all receipts from now on. That includes Tescos or whichever shop you use for food. And all clothes, toys etc receipts too. Very important ok?
This will help if they investigate and you can also prove how much he's giving you as it doesn't seem to be a regular payment but different amounts.
Be prepared. And please don't worry..... it'll make you unwell and that's no good for you..... xxx
I'm presuming your boyfriend gave you cash and it wasn't transferred into your bank account.
How do you pay for everything? do you take it out at the cashpoint? or pay by switch?
You must start keeping all your bank statements if you dont already ok?
Have the last 6 months statements ready. Go through them with a fine toothcomb with a highlighter pen...... marking every transaction and what it was for.
If you dont have the statements get the bank to get you copies.
Keep all receipts from now on. That includes Tescos or whichever shop you use for food. And all clothes, toys etc receipts too. Very important ok?
This will help if they investigate and you can also prove how much he's giving you as it doesn't seem to be a regular payment but different amounts.
Be prepared. And please don't worry..... it'll make you unwell and that's no good for you..... xxx
Hi.
First thing dont worry, the system doesnt tell you everything.
Basicaly as your on Income Support,the DHSS automatically chase a claim for maintance, even though the 2 of you are together.
Basically you need to get the last year of bank statements and see if there are any extra amounts of money going in, even though it gets spent on your son, it can be classed as income.
If the DHSS do find that you have had extra money they can ask for a refund, but will take a small amount out of your income support each week.
This is not meant to sound horrible to you, but its better for you to contact them, thensomebody else report you for benefit fraud. They will understand that things get muddled up and by asking for help, looks better for you.
The savings account, if its in your sons name and has not got more than 3k in savings you should be ok, but please declare it. If its in your "partners" name then dont worry.
The DHSS dont take into account whats hes brought or done, they just see it as an absent father. They would take 15% of his income but you would not get that given to you, think you would only get �5.00 per week ( figures may of changed), the remainder of the money would go to the goverment as way of paying them back for supporting your son.
As for college,thats brilliant, but you wont be able to claim the EMA, as you are already getting Income Support.
Its just a thought, but if you worked a couple of hours a week, you areallowed to earn �20.00 a week without losing any benefits, as long as you kept them informed. Have you thought about mystery shopping, its not regular weekly work, but as and when, give you a bit of independance.
If you want to study have you thought about Open UNi,study from home, hours to suit.
Im a single mum on I.S. dont get any money from my ex, as he packed in work.
First thing dont worry, the system doesnt tell you everything.
Basicaly as your on Income Support,the DHSS automatically chase a claim for maintance, even though the 2 of you are together.
Basically you need to get the last year of bank statements and see if there are any extra amounts of money going in, even though it gets spent on your son, it can be classed as income.
If the DHSS do find that you have had extra money they can ask for a refund, but will take a small amount out of your income support each week.
This is not meant to sound horrible to you, but its better for you to contact them, thensomebody else report you for benefit fraud. They will understand that things get muddled up and by asking for help, looks better for you.
The savings account, if its in your sons name and has not got more than 3k in savings you should be ok, but please declare it. If its in your "partners" name then dont worry.
The DHSS dont take into account whats hes brought or done, they just see it as an absent father. They would take 15% of his income but you would not get that given to you, think you would only get �5.00 per week ( figures may of changed), the remainder of the money would go to the goverment as way of paying them back for supporting your son.
As for college,thats brilliant, but you wont be able to claim the EMA, as you are already getting Income Support.
Its just a thought, but if you worked a couple of hours a week, you areallowed to earn �20.00 a week without losing any benefits, as long as you kept them informed. Have you thought about mystery shopping, its not regular weekly work, but as and when, give you a bit of independance.
If you want to study have you thought about Open UNi,study from home, hours to suit.
Im a single mum on I.S. dont get any money from my ex, as he packed in work.
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