15 years ago my daughter had an illigetimate son.Apart from twice, when the lad was 18 months old, the father has had no contact whatsoever and has paid nothing in maintenance. Because he is an out and out rogue with a history of violence and at least three other children by different girls, his name is not on the birth certificate (my daughter didn't want him to have anything to do with her son). She is now in a stable relationship with a man who has brought up her son as his own, since he was 3/12 years old and the lad calls him Dad. The biological father has now contacted my daughter via Friends Reunited and said that 15 years have passed and it is now time to get together and sort out the boy's future. Her partner is aware of the contact being made, but her son is not aware that the man he calls Dad is not his biological father. ( My opinion is that they should have told him a few years ago). As a concerned grandmother, can you please tell me if he has any right to do this? Thanks, nanja
don't give this J arthur the time of day. For all intents and purposes her current partner is the dad. Personally I would advise her to not even mention it to the lad or her partner(bit late I guess) . How has he possibly contacted her through the net? why has she responded at all? why has she even communicated? If I was her current partner I'd need some pretty impressive answers to the preceeding questions given that she "didn't want anything to do with him" - presumably she does now.
yes he has a right to have disussions about the sons future - he is, after all, the boys father. he may well be a rouge, but lets fsce it, your daughter chose to have a baby by him, therefore inextricably linking them together for life. She could alays deny he was the father, but the bloke has a right to insist on a DNA test, although if your daughter has been on any sort of benefits in the last 15 years, the csa may ask him to pay
Your daughter has every right to tell her son's natural father to 'get knotted'. However, since a 15 year old clearly isn't tied to his mother's apron strings, there's nothing to stop his natural father approaching him in the street and saying "Hello. I'm your dad". So it might be best if your grandson was told the truth now, so that he's be prepared for this possibility.
He left a message for her on friends reunited (?? !!) and she found it when she logged on. She has NOT had contact with him, she does NOT want contact with him, and she has not responded to his "request". The only benefit she has rec'd is the normal child's allowance as she was living with her father until she met her current partner.
The boy's biological father does NOT have parental resposibility granted by a court. My daughter is in a state of shock because she is afraid that he will be allowed into her son's life.
nanja.
Nanja feel for you and your daughter,as vomit breath jeremy vile says, he would walk naked to see his kids,think you need professional advice, i assume your daughters partner didnt officially adopt him, i agree should have told him years ago and maybe now have to incur the difficulties that comes with not telling,omg the lad is 15 now, he will be devastated when the truth comes out!!!!