The Wife

[marval]

The wife went ballistic when I punched a constable yesterday.
She was nearly as mad as the museum staff.


My mate fancies himself as an artist and wants to sketch me.
I told him, "I'm very busy at the moment."
"How about next Sunday afternoon?" he suggested.
I said, "Not too sure - but pencil me in."


I couldn't book my holiday because the sign on the window at the travel agent said: GO AWAY!


Booked myself a holiday in Spain today.
Should've just used a travel agent in England, took me ages to get here.


Today I had to cancel my trip to India
It was a no Goa.


Who will take the second shot in this snooker game?
Find out after the break.


Past, Present and Future walked into a Bar
It was tense.


My talking dog gave me a stick the other day and told me he found it 600 miles away.
That's a bit far-fetched.


I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company.
I'm now the main stake holder.


I work as a waiter.
The pay isn't great but I put food on the table.

[excelsior-1]

who will eat the next mouthful of cornflakes?
tune in next week .. it's a serial (cereal)

the car boot stall sign read 'everything on this table one pound'
i gave him a pound and took the lot away

[cupid04]

Lol at marvel and excel!