Crosswords1 min ago
You're not splitting up my family
87 Answers
Did anyone watch this?
All the intervention from social services did the boys no favours at all. They both ended up in and out of prison. One of them said, that they would rather of stayed at home with their dad, and be slapped a couple of times a week, rather than being put in to care. I found it sad to watch.
All the intervention from social services did the boys no favours at all. They both ended up in and out of prison. One of them said, that they would rather of stayed at home with their dad, and be slapped a couple of times a week, rather than being put in to care. I found it sad to watch.
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i was fostered at 9 months and was not adopted until i was 4 although i resent my mum for not trying harder to get us back there was no support to try and keep us together!
as some of you may be aware i tracked down my biological father 3 months ago we got on really well i asked him why he hadn't adopted me himself and he told me and had proof that he wasn't even aware of me until social services told him i was his! the thing is he wasn't informed of my exsisitance until i had already been adopted
This is how good social services are
as some of you may be aware i tracked down my biological father 3 months ago we got on really well i asked him why he hadn't adopted me himself and he told me and had proof that he wasn't even aware of me until social services told him i was his! the thing is he wasn't informed of my exsisitance until i had already been adopted
This is how good social services are
Invisible, yes I think the dad needed help. He was depressed after the death of his wife, and he turned to the drink. Some help for him rather than taking the boys away would have been better in the long term, although he was offered counselling, he was not the sort of man to accept that sort of help, all a bit alien to him.
Did you see how many social workers, police officers, education professional etc, all involved in just one family case?
And they still did no good in the long run
Did you see how many social workers, police officers, education professional etc, all involved in just one family case?
And they still did no good in the long run
-- answer removed --
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oldgrape, that was very moving. Unbelievable that social services did not tell your father of your existence. What do these people get paid for?
Yes Invisible, the dad did look close to tears a lot of the time. I don't think he was a bad man. Heartbroken, and unable to tell his boys he loved them. His mother, I think later on in the interview more or less said, she was not much of a help to them all.
I just felt so sad, watching the end. They were intelligent men, but let down by the system. No future to look forward to, and living day by day. And they are now only 22.
Yes Invisible, the dad did look close to tears a lot of the time. I don't think he was a bad man. Heartbroken, and unable to tell his boys he loved them. His mother, I think later on in the interview more or less said, she was not much of a help to them all.
I just felt so sad, watching the end. They were intelligent men, but let down by the system. No future to look forward to, and living day by day. And they are now only 22.
..a friend of mine and her brother were taken into care aged 4 and 2, because their mother went on holiday with her boyfriend and left them home alone, the father who was just remarried kept on telling SS that he would be back for them once he and his new wife were settled, then came a new baby, then a new house , then another baby , each time he said he would be back for them, so they never got adopted and they were both in care until the age of 16, SS never interviened , they we just another case file in the system, they both had to find proffessions which involved live in accomodation, she became a nurse, he joined the raf, he was killed aged 19, today she is in her mid 40s and still works for the NHS, she is totally alone in the world, she is too scared to have children incase she fails them, as her mother failed her, and therefore has had several relationships end because of it, her friends mean everything to her, it makes me so angry that things like this has such a long term affect on peoples lives....
ermintrude, that is a very sad story. Watching this programme tonight, pointed out one incidence out of probably hundreds of families in this sort of situation, where Social Services butt in. Move the kids into care homes, and leave them there.
10 years on, these 2 boys, once loving happy kids, then deprived of their mum, and a dad who was depressed, and a grandmother who, said things to them like "I will murder you tonight" (as a joke!) ended up, in and out of prison, and living with friends. It made me well up several times watching it.
10 years on, these 2 boys, once loving happy kids, then deprived of their mum, and a dad who was depressed, and a grandmother who, said things to them like "I will murder you tonight" (as a joke!) ended up, in and out of prison, and living with friends. It made me well up several times watching it.
i also watched the programme and found it very moving, it seemed as though the dad wanted to tell them he loved them but just couldnt, it was mentioned a couple of times that they had a brother and a sister, they said the brother was in prison, anyone know what age he was and why he was there and where was the sister
It came as a shock when I went home to visit my mum last night and she said to me "Did you know there is a documentary on tonight about your Uncle Tom?"
I watched the program, probably from a different perspective from the rest of you, being a part (although not that close) of the family. Tom Cox is my mum's brother, and the Grandma (Dorothy Simpson) is my mum's mum.
I did find it odd that the program was even made in the first place, and I can only assume that it was because they were twins in this situation (could be very wrong though).
The Social Workers in the program did seem to have problems communicating what needed to be done, but Tom was a drinker before Linda died, this just made it worse. Talking to him about anything was never easy.
There was mention of his other two children, Deborah and Paul. Deborah didn't have much to do with the family, she just lived there out of necessity. She helped her dad out money wise when she could, but didn't have a huge hand in anything. Paul, as correctly said by Tom, was what Mark and Jason were most likely going to be like. Paul was a terrible kid, even before his mum died, into petty crime etc, and was in and out of jail even when this was being made.
What I was most suprised at is how my grandma came across in the film. She does seem very cold to the kids, but I had always taken it as just her way. She's always been a loving woman to her kids and her grandkids, and we took comments like "I'm going to murder you" as part of her old woman charm.
As a side note, their friend in the documentary, Dodger (David Richardson) was also the subject of a similar documentary about how he was put into foster care, which was shown a few years back when I was still in school.
I've not seen anything of Tom, Mark or Jason since the twins were put into care, so I can't comment on what they are like now, but from how the program
I watched the program, probably from a different perspective from the rest of you, being a part (although not that close) of the family. Tom Cox is my mum's brother, and the Grandma (Dorothy Simpson) is my mum's mum.
I did find it odd that the program was even made in the first place, and I can only assume that it was because they were twins in this situation (could be very wrong though).
The Social Workers in the program did seem to have problems communicating what needed to be done, but Tom was a drinker before Linda died, this just made it worse. Talking to him about anything was never easy.
There was mention of his other two children, Deborah and Paul. Deborah didn't have much to do with the family, she just lived there out of necessity. She helped her dad out money wise when she could, but didn't have a huge hand in anything. Paul, as correctly said by Tom, was what Mark and Jason were most likely going to be like. Paul was a terrible kid, even before his mum died, into petty crime etc, and was in and out of jail even when this was being made.
What I was most suprised at is how my grandma came across in the film. She does seem very cold to the kids, but I had always taken it as just her way. She's always been a loving woman to her kids and her grandkids, and we took comments like "I'm going to murder you" as part of her old woman charm.
As a side note, their friend in the documentary, Dodger (David Richardson) was also the subject of a similar documentary about how he was put into foster care, which was shown a few years back when I was still in school.
I've not seen anything of Tom, Mark or Jason since the twins were put into care, so I can't comment on what they are like now, but from how the program
I didnt know how to feel the bit when the kids gran said I dont want to see them ever again and the dad said me neither my heart went out to them. But as they got older I felt with the life they had had they might turn it around. So sad, and for them to stand there and say they wish their dad would sort it out and stop drinking when they themselves have ASBO's and cant drink on the street. It wouldnt suprise me if their dad wished they'd died in the crash too, you'd think it would make him cherish them more.
Ratbox can I ask there was a pic of the mother with 3 babies were they part of triplets?
Ratbox can I ask there was a pic of the mother with 3 babies were they part of triplets?
Interesting that everyone is blaming social services.
What about the father? he should have been put down, a self pitying alkie.
Thousands of people goe through heartache such as his and get through it, but he had to seek solace in drink and they all had people trying to help.
The 2 boys were thick as pigs$%t, were basically living as tramps, had no teeth and no prospects.
Theya said they wished their dad would sort himself out when they had ASBOs preventing them from drinking on the street.
I bet their mum looking down was so proud when they revealed how much they had received in compensation, waht they spent it on and how quickly.
Underclass scum.
What about the father? he should have been put down, a self pitying alkie.
Thousands of people goe through heartache such as his and get through it, but he had to seek solace in drink and they all had people trying to help.
The 2 boys were thick as pigs$%t, were basically living as tramps, had no teeth and no prospects.
Theya said they wished their dad would sort himself out when they had ASBOs preventing them from drinking on the street.
I bet their mum looking down was so proud when they revealed how much they had received in compensation, waht they spent it on and how quickly.
Underclass scum.
4getmenot - The third baby in the picture was one of Pauline's (Aunty who had cancer) children.
Reverandfunk - My whole family is with you on this one, he didn't care about the kids. He did when the family was together to a degree, and idolised his wife, but when Linda died, his world collapsed and he stopped caring. As sad as it is, it doesn't excuse his behavour and attitude to his kids. He beat Ann and the kids. He's just not nice.
4getmenot - Mark got more money than Jason (by about 4k) because he had suffered worse injuries in the crash (his mouth was messed up, a result of the crash).
Reverandfunk - My whole family is with you on this one, he didn't care about the kids. He did when the family was together to a degree, and idolised his wife, but when Linda died, his world collapsed and he stopped caring. As sad as it is, it doesn't excuse his behavour and attitude to his kids. He beat Ann and the kids. He's just not nice.
4getmenot - Mark got more money than Jason (by about 4k) because he had suffered worse injuries in the crash (his mouth was messed up, a result of the crash).
No idea.
It made me laugh when they were looking in the paper and saying "you need qualifications to get a job". Perhaps if that one wasn't continually being excluded (pity the girl with the broken arm) they would have got some.
Their compensation gave them an opportunity many in a similar situation dont get and they wasted it in 6 months.
It made me laugh when they were looking in the paper and saying "you need qualifications to get a job". Perhaps if that one wasn't continually being excluded (pity the girl with the broken arm) they would have got some.
Their compensation gave them an opportunity many in a similar situation dont get and they wasted it in 6 months.
Ratbox - The father upon losing his wife should have thought I've still got my boys and made a greater effort. You got the idea that it was still a very much I'm a man's man society, they say they had only been out with their dad twice even when their mum was alive.
Why should we as taxpayers have to pick up the burden of him? In bed at 3 oclock in the afternoon pi��ed up?
The boys disappointed me, I thought they would have wanted to make their mum proud but obviously not.
Why should we as taxpayers have to pick up the burden of him? In bed at 3 oclock in the afternoon pi��ed up?
The boys disappointed me, I thought they would have wanted to make their mum proud but obviously not.
They went to the same school as me, and I remember the incident where Mark pulled the chair away from the girl. I think it was wrong of the school (Roseberry Comprehensive) to exclude Mark, as that was what he wanted. It was the easy approach, they should have looked for some other way to disclipline him. It was a terrible school, lots of trouble makers.
It would have been nice if Tom had made a greater effort, but he was already set in his ways of paying the way for the family and doing his own thing. He was so caught up in his own grief and drinking he couldn't help himself, let alone the boys. He always had the money for booze (that's another story about how he cheated the rest of his siblings out of some inheritance money from his gran's (my great-gran) house), but was claiming benefits for disability of some form (you may have seen he had a limp). Just a sad, tragic family, and it doesn't look like it'll get better.
As for my grandma not wanting anything to do with the boys now, I can't blame her. She's blind and lives alone, they could easily take her for what pension money she has if they went to see her. It was shown through the video that they didn't enjoy her being there, but I think that was partly because she tried to impose some sort of rules and boundries on them, which they were not used to having. I don't know what they think of her now, or even if they know where she lives.
It would have been nice if Tom had made a greater effort, but he was already set in his ways of paying the way for the family and doing his own thing. He was so caught up in his own grief and drinking he couldn't help himself, let alone the boys. He always had the money for booze (that's another story about how he cheated the rest of his siblings out of some inheritance money from his gran's (my great-gran) house), but was claiming benefits for disability of some form (you may have seen he had a limp). Just a sad, tragic family, and it doesn't look like it'll get better.
As for my grandma not wanting anything to do with the boys now, I can't blame her. She's blind and lives alone, they could easily take her for what pension money she has if they went to see her. It was shown through the video that they didn't enjoy her being there, but I think that was partly because she tried to impose some sort of rules and boundries on them, which they were not used to having. I don't know what they think of her now, or even if they know where she lives.
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