Crosswords1 min ago
Some Quickies...
Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary
…………………………..
Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking
for some hot action. So I sent her my ironing. That'll keep the lazy Bitch busy.
……………………………
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
………………………….
After a night of drink and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
………………………………
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house.
Turns out she was a Slovak
………………………………..
Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window.
If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
………………………………..
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.
To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
……………………………………
After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.
Nothing.
…………………………………..
A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part."
………………………………………
.
I have just had my water bill of £100 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can
supply a whole African village for just £2 a month. Time to change supplier I think.
………………………………………
……
Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes.. I think they were Hovis Witnesses.
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary
…………………………..
Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking
for some hot action. So I sent her my ironing. That'll keep the lazy Bitch busy.
……………………………
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
………………………….
After a night of drink and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
………………………………
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house.
Turns out she was a Slovak
………………………………..
Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window.
If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
………………………………..
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.
To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
……………………………………
After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.
Nothing.
…………………………………..
A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part."
………………………………………
.
I have just had my water bill of £100 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can
supply a whole African village for just £2 a month. Time to change supplier I think.
………………………………………
……
Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes.. I think they were Hovis Witnesses.
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