Nigella Lawson

[andy-hughes]

Given that Charles Saatchi is digging an even bigger hole for himself by trying to pass off assaulting his wife as simply attending to her personal appearence -

What would you do if your partner decided to do the same thing in a public place?

For the record, the present Mrs Hughes would have brained me with the nearest blunt object - but personally, i would not dream of invading her personal space in such a manner - in public or in private.

What do you think?

[ummmm]

What is unreasonable behaviour?

You get people filing for divorce because their partners are lazy and they think it's unreasonable.

[ladybirder]

His first wife divorced him for unreasonable behaviour. I think his behaviour on this occasion was rather unreasonable to say the least.

[ladybirder]

She didn't just file for it Ummmm she was granted it.

[bednobs]

or she could just be fed up with random strangers speculating about her relationship

[EDDIE51]

The guy is a violent bully. There must be a lot more going on behind closed doors than we have heard about in public. She needs to get out of there and fast then stay out.

[ummmm]

EDDIE - why so dramatic? Do you know for a fact he's a violent bully?

Unreasonable behaviour, like Octavious said, was the fact he wasn't around.

[2sp_]

I am inclined to believe that he has been abusive to her before. He has accepted a police caution for assault.

I know he said that he accepted it as he didn't want this business being dragged out for months, but if it was as innocent as he states why wouldn't Nigella talk to the police in his defense and there would be no need for a caution?

I do agree that none of us know what goes on behind closed doors, but it is human nature to speculate on such matters. I for one am inclined to think that it's not all lovehearts and sunshine in their home.

[FredPuli43]

Laziness is not normally, if ever, "unreasonable behaviour" but laziness is hardly a charge to be laid against the self-made multi - millionaire Charles Saatchi. The unreasonable behaviour (the old "cruelty" ground) to the ex-wife must have been something else.Now, what kind of behaviour could that have been ? Holding the petitioner by the neck on two separate occasions, and in public, and twisting her nose, "to her great distress", as we used to say in cruelty petitions, might just be the sort of thing.

[Octavius]

She is Eddie, she's got a TV deal going off in Hollywood and will be moving to LA.

[2sp_]

As for the whole "unreasonable behaviour" tag on some divorces, when I divorced my first husband (I feel sick actually calling him that), it was on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour.

He held me by the throat twice. I thought that was a tad more than unreasonable, but that phrase can cover a multitude of different issues.

[Sqad]

For information only:

What is somebody's "personal space?"..........never heard the term until recently.
Is it 50 cms around his/her body or a wider margin?

I have seen the term referred to women........do men also have a "personal space?"

I think that the term is a "load of baloney"

[Octavius]

Fred, there was also the suggestion that he was carrying on with someone else. Nigella.

[andy-hughes]

Sqad - the term is quite common, and in common useage.

Broadly speaking, it means how physically close someone can be before you feel uncomrotable. This varies obviously - anyone will be more comfortable with their loved ones neing near to them, touching them etc., than complete strangers.

There are cultural variations as well - Greek men for instance will talk to each other almost nose to nose, wheras English men keep a distance between even close friends.

Woem tend to be more tactile and comfortable with contact with each other than do men, but again this varies.

So no, it's not baloney, it's a recognised expression of how someone behaves in terms of respect for others. The point being raised here, is that even for a married couple, Saatchi's behaviour represents an uncomfortable invasion of his wife's personal space.

[ludwig]

I'm not sure of the distances involved sqad, but for clarification, if I were to shove my finger (or anything else) up your nose without invitation, that would be what's known as invading your personal space.

[mccfluff]

everyone has a personal space sqad, how close that is depends on who is currently invading....

my mum divorced my dad citing unreasonable behaviour, to my knowledge he never lifted a finger against her, he was adulterous though.

[ummmm]

I wasn't saying he was lazy, Fred, but what some consider unreasonable, others don't. If someone is doing something within a relationship that is making the other person unhappy and they know this, is that not unreasonable?

[Octavius]

Actually ludwig thats common assault. Actus reus.

[Sqad]

andy...thanks....I have lived all my life not knowing the concept of "personal space" and indeed not knowing it have probably "invaded" it.

I shall adjust.

[naomi24]

Andy, To be perfectly frank, the ‘personal space’ issue wouldn’t have occurred to me – I tend to reserve that rule for strangers. Between husband and wife, I can cope with close proximity. The physical abuse would have been the only issue I would have considered. Personal space in this instance is very much a secondary consideration.

[ludwig]

// Actually ludwig thats common assault. Actus reus. //

You're right - common assault is a particularly nasty kind of personal space invasion, which also happens to be illegal. Saatchi was cautioned for it.