ChatterBank1 min ago
Would You Stand By A Rapist Husband?
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I ask our female ABers, would you have as understanding as this woman if your partner/ husband had behaved in such a way?
I ask our female ABers, would you have as understanding as this woman if your partner/ husband had behaved in such a way?
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ladyalex - "The trouble as I see it is that she has to decide between two delusions....the first being that he didn't do it and the second being that she has been married to an awful man for however many years it was.
If she chooses to go with the first one, then she has to stand by him.
If she chooses the second then she has to come to terms with the reality that her judgement has been entirely wrong.
It may be easier in some ways to stick by him.
If it were me.. couldn't stick by him if I thought he'd done it."
I think you have captured the essence of this wife's situation perfectly.
I do think the capacity not to see what we don't want to see is a human failing we can all suffer from - this is just an extreme example.
The Mail (sorry AOG!) takes its usual slant - loads of pictures because the woman is vaguely attractive, and its incredulity that a Cambridge gel could fall for such a bounder - so no change there.
If she chooses to go with the first one, then she has to stand by him.
If she chooses the second then she has to come to terms with the reality that her judgement has been entirely wrong.
It may be easier in some ways to stick by him.
If it were me.. couldn't stick by him if I thought he'd done it."
I think you have captured the essence of this wife's situation perfectly.
I do think the capacity not to see what we don't want to see is a human failing we can all suffer from - this is just an extreme example.
The Mail (sorry AOG!) takes its usual slant - loads of pictures because the woman is vaguely attractive, and its incredulity that a Cambridge gel could fall for such a bounder - so no change there.
You can try to rationalise things like murder and violence in your head (maybe it was self defence, maybe it was born out of idealism, maybe it was simply a situation that got out of hand, maybe the person had it coming etc) but you can't rape someone in self defence, or sexually abuse someone because they had it coming so I could live with a murderer but not with a rapist. That being said I don't think for a moment the deluded woman thinks he's done anything wrong, in which case you can only expect her to stand by him because she clearly thinks he's innocent and the wounded party.
AOG - "A picture can speak a thousand words Andy."
Indeed it can AOG, and there is little doubt that the Mail is underlining its disbelief that a Cambridge gel could stand by a thug like this, plus he is an immigrant, and he's b..... bl....., no I am spluttering too much to type it!
Ticks all the Mail's boxes though!
Indeed it can AOG, and there is little doubt that the Mail is underlining its disbelief that a Cambridge gel could stand by a thug like this, plus he is an immigrant, and he's b..... bl....., no I am spluttering too much to type it!
Ticks all the Mail's boxes though!
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