Can The Mccanns Take Any More?

[anotheoldgit]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4180046/Kate-Gerry-McCann-fury-libel-battle-defeat.html

One has to empathise with them, the thought of a long missing daughter and now this, what can only be guessed an enormous legal bill to face?

Should they appeal?

[THECORBYLOON]

"One has to empathise with [the McCanns]" how many of us have had a wee one go missing who may be the victim of a kidnapping and possibly dead? Sympathy maybe but empathy, unlikely.

[Caran]

I remember a report not long after she disappeared of a young girl at a filling station asking someone "when am I going to meet my new mum"
At the time this was classed as important but has never been followed up.

[NoMercy]

I don't believe in God....but if there's a God up there He gave her that unique eye for a reason and one day she will still be recognised. Then all those who've accused the McCanns of being complicit in her disappearance and "death" can go and hang their heads in shame.

Caran... the little girl at the station was alleged to have said, "When can I see my mummy?" There was no mention of a "new" mummy according to the witness.

[tamborine]

McCanns were dining with colleagues, all whom left children alone under their group's surveillance. These colleagues are witnesses to Maddy's disappearance & NONE have disputed maddys abduction.

Portugese courts are as disingenuous as their detective!

[andy-hughes]

NoMercy - The McCanns were complicit in their daughter's disappearance, they failed to take adequate care of her.

[-Talbot-]

I agree with Andy, I won't bow my head in shame whatever news there is on Madeliane's disappearance.

[anotheoldgit]

THECORBYLOON

/// "One has to empathise with [the McCanns]" how many of us have had a wee one go missing who may be the victim of a kidnapping and possibly dead? Sympathy maybe but empathy, unlikely. ///

One does not need to experience the same tragedies etc, to empathise with those who have.

Cambridge dictionary definition.

*** to be able to understand how someone else feels: ***

[andy-hughes]

AOG - I feel that by clarifying the definition of empathy, you actually add to Corbyloon's point, rather than detracting from it.

In essence, to be able to empathise with someone, you must either directly have experienced what they have experienced - and thankfully very very few of us are in that position - or be in a position to understand from an appropriate perspective.

So for example, it is impossible for any man to empathise with a mother who miscarries, because he cannot understand the loss of a baby from that perspective.

To bring the scenario back to the McCann's situation - anyone who does not have children is similarly excluded from empathising with their situation.

Sympathy however - the ability to feel concern and sorrow, is within the remit of anyone in any circumstances.

That I believe explains why Corbyloon is right - empathy is not possible, but sympathy is.

[vortex]

Andy Hughes //To bring the scenario back to the McCann's situation - anyone who does not have children is similarly excluded from empathising with their situation//

A general point, would you expect a Police Family Liaison Officer to have their own child(ren) when assigned to a missing persons case, murder etc?

[andy-hughes]

vortex - //A general point, would you expect a Police Family Liaison Officer to have their own child(ren) when assigned to a missing persons case, murder etc? //

If the missing person was a child, then yes.

For the reasons I have given, it is impossible to expect a stranger to reach any kind of meaningful relationship with someone under such extreme circumstances, without the basic emotional experience needed to bond effectively.

As per my example - you would not send a single male FLO to talk to a mother who has a missing child - it would be inappropriate in my view.

[hc4361]

A PLO would be able to sympathise, but not empathise.

[andy-hughes]

hc - Absolutely - the fundamental difference between empathy and sympathy.

[Garaman]

You can empathise with someone about losing a child if you haven't lost one yourself. Most of us can imagine what that must feel like, and if we imagine that when we speak or write our words are of empathy, not of sympathy. You don't have to know exactly what it feels like, you just have to be able to imagine it and to put yourself in that position for it to be empathy.

[Prudie]

Exactly Garaman, discussing semantics about sympathy and empathy is throwing the thread off course but I see no definition of empathy whatsoever that has a pre-requisite that you have either experienced or would able to experience the same misfortune yourself. I see no reason why a PLO could not empathise whether they had children or not and I think many men who've gone through a miscarriage with their partner would be well peeved to be told you can't empathise only sympathise.

[vortex]

Andy Hughes - The only reason I mentioned it was because in some police force's own documentation relating to the role of a PLO, it is stated as necessary to show 'empathy'.

[vortex]

Prudie, your post wasn't there when I posted but I agree.

Anyway, back to the thread...

[SnookerPlayer]

Empathise is the wrong word. Why have the word sympathise if empathise covers all situations.

[hc4361]

My question is can Ben Needham's mum take any more?

[andy-hughes]

As pointed out, I have no desire to derail the thread with a discussion on semantics - I think we all have our own specific definitions of sympathy and empathy - and mine remain unaltered by anything I have read on this thread.

My view is coloured by my experience with dealing with a Caller when I was a Samaritan volunteer - the lady advised me that she just miscarried, and needed to talk to someone about it. She then asked me if I was able to empathise with her feelings. My response was that honestly, know I could not empathise, I could not know how she was feeling, although I would do everything I could to understand, as far as I was able. She told me that she hoped that would be my response - and that if I had told her that indeed I did empathise, she would have put the phone down, because I was obviously not someone with whom she felt she could communicate. My sympathy was welcome and accepted, but my notion of 'empathy' would have resulted in our conversation ending there.

As I said, we all have our definitions, some, as mine, based on direct personal experience, and I think we all remain unlikely to change our positions.

[vortex]

Andy Hughes - I respect your comments.