My Boss Has Upset Me

[cris r]

I was asked into the office today to discuss our stores failings which i took on board I was then given a form about absences I was told i had already had five days off this year and because the company was coming down on all the absences and I should be having a warning. If I was to take up to six days I could face dismissal. I actually said what a load of bull. I felt i was being told basically i could not be ill. My boss said don't shoot the messenger.
He then went on to say do you know how many days I have had off since i started here .... None which made me feel even worse. I had already filled in the back to work form explaining my illness but he then went on to fill the form in front of me asking for my illness again, at this point I got up and said I'm not doing this and walked out of the office, it was my home time anyway. I felt really victimised as though I was a youngster taking days off here and there. Im 60 years old and never had across word with any other boss there. This one is new and likes to micro manage I don't feel like going back there but my husband says just go in and do your job. Although he did phone the boss and say he was not happy with me coming home distressed. How should I handle this any advice

[murraymints]

unfortunately one does not have to like one's boss..but one has to be able to take instruction and criticism on the chin..he was only doing his job... to flounce and be quite rude about it at the same time could lead to disciplinary action... I would have a quiet word tomorrow and apologise then just get on with it....

[Baldric]

And as for your husband getting involved, totally OTT.

[Mamyalynne]

Go in as normal and if a need to explain arises , say you felt wrong-footed being asked for illness details that had already been written on the form.

[Samuraisan]

I agree. Your husband should not get involved.

[elliemay1]

What did the boss say when your husband phoned?

[cris r]

He just put him in touch with the HR people. They said they would get in touch with the area manager and he would phone him which he did not.
I can take criticism where it is due but to rub it in by
telling me he has not taken days off
himself ..... so does this mean I can not take sick days . No boss should ever make anyone feel bad if they are genially unwell and this is what made me cross. I have worked at this store for ten years and never had any issues with the other bosses when i have had sickness days. What happens the next time I'm ill I will be totally stressed out as according to the company policy six times and its dismissal

[murraymints]

he does not make up company policy.. the same rule will apply to all employees.. if you want to keep this job you will have to accept this and temper your attitudes... lest you find yourself being subject to disciplinary action...

[Zacs-Master]

Ooh yes, it's terrible when you're genially unwell.

ACAS are very good in these situations and will advise you over the phone.

[woofgang]

Do you need the job or not?

[Maydup]

You ask how to handle this, and my advice is to ring the AcAS help line a chat it through with them. The issue for me is that he xalled yiu in to talk about the store failing, yet went on to mention your odd days absences. It sounds like he might try connecting the two and you need a bit of professional support.

Do your best to rise above it and not to react any further tomorrow Make sure your husband keeps out of it, and ring ACAS for a chat.

Do you have it in writing in a handbook or something that the company policy is to discipline after 6 days sick? Or has he invented that? Are you responsible in any way at all for the stores failings? There's quite a bit to unpick here and they will help you to do that.

[Maydup]

The phone number for ACAS is 0300 123 1100

[NoMercy]

We're your 5 days' sick leave all taken in one single episode or 5 completely separate episodes?

Employers don't tend to count days off they count episodes away.

[murraymints]

I would tread carefully..you have already told your manager "he was talking bull" and you have left a meeting refusing to cooperate in filling in a form related to your sickness... you could be acccused of insubordination ..in many places instant dismissal....

[Garaman]

You say that your boss has upset you, and you also say that you told him what he said was a load of bull, you walked out when he was completing a form for you, and your husband rang him to complain that you arrived home distressed. I think you just might have upset your boss.

A lot of workers, particularly older ones, aren't very good at adapting to changes in management style.

I would, as murraymints says, tread carefully.

[naomi24]

I get the impression that your absences were for short, uncertificated periods, but whether each absence was for one day or a month It’s fairly common practice for employers to ask questions when more than five periods of sick leave have been taken in one year so you weren’t being victimised. I think that’s evidenced by your manager’s response – “Don’t shoot the messenger”. If you value your job, comply with the rules. Stroppy attitudes create suspicion.

[kvalidir]

As Maydup says talk to ACAS- five days is not a lot of sick time to take- we have staff off all the time,and wouldn't dream of conducting a meeting the way you describe. Do you need the job is a point, you say you 'don't feel like going back' and I have quite a degree of sympathy with that, so if you don't need the job find something that stresses you less, as obviously you are very upset and in my experience once someone is upset to this level it won't take much for them to get this upset again, and the question then is do you want to work in an environment that makes you physically distressed and unhappy?

[fiction-factory]

Your boss was wrong to mention his own attendance record but I can see how it might have slipped out- I was not absent for over 20 years but had to deal with persistent absentees and I had to be careful what i said even though I doubted in many cases the genuineness of their absences.
The manager was only implementing the company policy and most companies (certainly outside the public sector and some public ones now) do work hard to address absence levels.
The manager was probably not discussing the genuineness of your absence but there is a capapbility issue with frequent absences- you are being paid to be at home and someone has to cove ryour work when you are off, and in a small team that can make things difficult for those who do attend.
Ususally companies will do some informal counselling befor ethey give a warning and they should explore with you ways to improve your wellbeing and attendance, even if it just a chat with a welfare officer or occupational therapist.
Have a word with your GP and see if there is an underlying cause that needs to be addressed to see if your attendance levels can be improved

[murraymints]

and I would certainly refrain from verbally insulting the boss.... if the situation is salvageable, and it may not be now, a certain amount of humility may be in order

[Deskdiary]

Blimey - if the husband of an employee phoned me to complain their wife was upset because their sickness record had been questioned, they would be told to F off and to mind their own damn business.