Sexual Abuse

[sp1814]

Are men becoming worse, or is it being reported more now?

From Hollywood, to the fashion industry, to sports, to Westminster, to television - in the past couple of years on an almost daily basis, we have been seen stories of men abusing their position - grooming, assaulting, raping, molesting and so on.

Is it because women are more likely to come forward (even those there are some who want them to be 'named and shamed' should their claim of assault/rape not be upheld), or something more insidious about men in the 21st century?

[naomi24]

Spurious claims serve only to undermine and trivialise real sexual abuse.

[murraymints]

I once had to accept a snog from a premier league football player, trying to get away from one such madam at an awards do.... sorry..he said I knew you would understand and want to help..lol...ex boyfriend luckily was a friend and saw the funny side !

[mikey4444]

Minty....I fully accept that some of these claims may be spurious, but how do we know the difference between spurious and real ?

In the past, some women did complain....like in the case of Savile, but they weren't believed, or if they were, various forces made sure that any investigations were stopped or derailed ASAP.

The difference now is that people who have been abused will probably be listened to, and taken seriously.

We have moved on in a great way in recent years, and quite rightly so.

[naomi24]

Mikey, //Minty....I fully accept that some of these claims may be spurious//

You didn't accept it when I said it. Why is that?

[murraymints]

I think all claims are listened to nowadays...it can be difficult to ascertain genuine or false at times... some occasions facts are available to prove innocence..

[mikey4444]

Naomi....because your posts this morning gave the impression that most reports of sexual abuse were false.

[naomi24]

Mikey, If men are reported for putting a hand on a shoulder, or on a covered knee, or for trying to chat a female up, they are false.

[murraymints]

Don't get me started on inappropriate chat ups ! Lol....

[EDDIE51]

A lot of what is termed 'sexual abuse' is of such a minor nature , a hand on a shoulder or back that it would previously have passed without comment.
I remember a story from a year or so back. A German doctor was accused of sexual abuse by his long time secretary. When the evidence was examined it turned out that the 'abuse' consisted only of him kissing her on the cheek on the occasion of her 40th birthday. The case was instantly thrown out. But it was too late ,unable to face the shame , the doctor had already committed suicide.

[donny48]

It depends on what is said and the manner in which it is said. Minty and me have a conversation going about a cupboard which if I started with someone else could be held to be offensive. I think if you are going to say or do anything risque then you must ensure that the other person shares your sense of humour, not doing so could lead to claims of abuse and so they are without the consent of the other person.
Good morning Minty XXOOXX

[murraymints]

Shush Donny ! Morning XX..OO..XX.. Agree.. banter must not be confused with unwanted attention !

[emmie]

i worked with mostly blokes and the banter and the explicit calenders would make your hair curl - at the time you just got on with things, hand on the knee at lunch, a pat on the back in the pub, just a way of interacting with your colleagues i guess.

[dannyk13]

It works two ways Emmie,The women in the mill where I worked used to initiate apprentices by oiling their bits and pieces.

[murraymints]

Yup...times have changed! Not always for the better...a litigious society in which we live

[murraymints]

EEK Danny !

[emmie]

Danny that wasn't good at all. I hope that these days those horrible pranks don't go on.

[dannyk13]

Do you think I should make a claim of sexual abuse?On second thoughts not much point as this happened over 70 years ago.

[donny48]

If a person does or says anything that is, in the recipients point of view, unwanted then any reasonable person should stop but sometimes a "sense of humour" allows some to think things are ok when they are not. I have rescued apprentice boys who have been forced to tears by women in the factory, this behaviour was tolerated in much the same way as men's behaviour reported recently.

[dannyk13]

Emmie, for the most part it was taken as a bit of tomfoolery.Don't forget in those days PC only meant a police constable.

[murraymints]

Lol..might get a new lappie out of it ..I'll supply character reference!