Clare, I couldn’t care less what you call yourself. I'll always call members here by the name they're registered with or an acceptable alternative (OG for example), but if 'asking' is equivalent to telling someone that if they call a trans person 'him' they will get a slap, as you told me, all I can say is it's an alarming definition of 'asking'.
As for ''
Site Rules', my principles take precedence. Odd though that someone who claims to advocate free speech uses curtailment as a potential silencer. Just a bit hypocritical, wouldn't you say?
//And if it genuinely bothers you then there are easy neutral ways around it -- by, for example, always referring to someone in the third person by their name.//
But why should I be obliged to pussyfoot around it and why do you expect me to? If it bothers you why do you think it shouldn't bother me?
The point here is - and see the OP - real women are being sidelined and airbrushed out of our language and the result is gender has become an irrelevance. It doesn’t mean anything. It wouldn't be fair to say that no one knows who anyone is any more because the sad thing is we do know who people are but are obliged to deny it. How crazy is it to ask men if they might be pregnant? Medical professionals above all should know men don't have the equipment to become pregnant. And yet it happens - paying lip service to a lie - and here we are with new definitions - people who menstruate, people who have cervixes, people who give birth - all more suitably described by a perfectly correct word that when spoken by J K Rowling brought her death threats - women.
There's something very wrong with all of this.