Custody Battle

[jimmysipples]

My partner an I have been together 5years living together 4 of them. Currently we're expectin a baby next month an my partner has 7 year old son from a previous relationship. My relationship with her son could not be better an I have an always will treat him as my own
For the most the boys father has been grand apart from the odd quarrel (which can only be expected) but recently with his plans to get married, he is under the impression that this would increase his chances of gaining custody of his son.

The father is aware of my relationship with his son an for the most has been fine because he knows that although I have a great relationship with his son, i have never once turned his son against him or bad mouthed him to his son. I understand the importance of the role his father should have in his life.

Currently his father see's his son every tues an thurs evening an has him every 2nd weekend from fri to Sun but has been hinting that he would pursue custody now he is gettin married and moving into a home of his own. This would involve moving the boy 30miles away an to a new school, somethin I know the boy wouldnt like an has stressed even at his tender age that he wouldnt like.
My question is, does anyone think that he has any kind of chance of gainin custody an would a court take away the boy from his stable home he has basically always known (and from his new brother/sister born soon) and put him into the new environment. Will they see this as a benefit to the boy?

[jimmysipples]

Sorry for long drawn out question but was just tryin to get as much info in as possible.

I understand custody battles can get messy with accusations flying around and although we wouldnt want to use it, would it benefit us to explain to any court about last year when the boy had an operation which left him unable to go to school or leave the home for 6weeks, that we received no assistance from the father who took no time off work and it was left to my partner, myself and my family to take unpaid leave from work, which didnt in the slightest bother me as i felt what needed done, you do. It seems petty to raise this but I find it quite unreasonable the father has suggested this and caused tension to an 8 month pregnant girl who for the most has been gettin on grand with him regarding their son

[Ethel]

The courts consider only one thing - the best interests of the boy.

At 7 he is old enough to have an opinion, and that will be given some consideration.

However, as the boy is in a long established family unit with his mother and there are no problems such as drink, drugs, violence, neglect, I would be incredibly surprised if the courts awarded custody to the father. I would bet my pension that they wouldn't.

[jimmysipples]

I've actually been in this position before as a child. Ironically when i was 7 my dad tried to get custody of me and he was successful. This was due however to my mum finally agreein that i would be best off with him as it was in fact her moving away. After that it was a very long process where my step mum was analysed very much and her occupation ect. I was interviewed quite often by social workers in my first year livin with my dad.

it seems weird that it feels like i've come full circle and am in fact on the other side of things now. After speaking with my dad I realised that he only got me after a long hard fight in which the final decision was based on my mum finally agreein. If she would of said no it wouldn't of happened.

i really hope it doesn't go as far as a court case because i would hate the lad to have to go through what i did and I would hate this to have an affect on his relationship with his mum, or his dad, who has got quite a good relationship with his son, and at the minute, a very civil, mature and relationship with us. Its awful to say but in the past when he has been as civil with us, it has been the beginning of him attempting something via his solicitor regarding the boy. From listening to the boy it would be devastating for him for his dad to pursue this. But then again I'm goin by what he tells us, the wee man might say different to his dad for fear of hurting anyone. I remember myself feelin that way.

I'm hoping ultimately the advice his father receives would advise him against pursueing this because as Ethel says, the only thing that matters is the best interests of the boy.