Jimmy Saville

[Zacs-Master]

So what's with all these people making accusations against Jimmy Saville.
He's dead so what difference will it make now then, now then, now then?

[EDDIE51]

I was waiting for the first JS joke but I hope for better than this.

[baza]

ho ho,

[Zacs-Master]

It's the best I could do.. As it 'appens.

[EDDIE51]

How about
I was a virgin till Jim fixed it for me ?

[Zacs-Master]

......tumbleweed.......

[DTCwordfan]

From "Have I got News for you"

DEAYTON: You used to be a wrestler didn't you?
SAVILLE: I still am.
DEAYTON: Are you?
SAVILLE: I'm feared in every girls' school in the country.
(Audience laugh)
DEAYTON: Yeah, I've heard about that.
SAVILLE: What have you heard?
DEAYTON: I've...
MERTON: Something about a c..t with a rancid, pus-filled c-ck.
(Huge audience laugh; Awkward pause)
SAVILLE: I advise you to wash your mouth out, my friend...
MERTON: That's what she had to do! (Audience laughs)
HISLOP: Weren't you leaving money in phone boxes or something?
(Saville glares at him) Or have I got completely the wrong end of the...
SAVILLE: (To Deayton, heavily) The question you asked was about wrestling.
DEAYTON: Yes. And then you mentioned girls' schools. I don't know whe...
SAVILLE: Well I understood this was a comedy programme. I realise now how wrong I was. (Audience laugh)
DEAYTON: So were you a professional wrestler?
SAVILLE: Yes I was.
DEAYTON: (To audience) Glad we got that cleared up.(Pulls face; audience giggles)
HISLOP: Feared by every girls' school in the country...
SAVILLE: That's right.
MERTON: Due to having a rancid, pus-filled c.ck.(Huge audience laugh)
DEAYTON: Erm...
HISLOP: You're on top form tonight, Paul...
SAVILLE: (Strangely) I'm...this is not what I...
FLOOR MANAGER: (OOV) OK, do you...(inaudible section)...shall we, for pick-ups...
MERTON: I'm terribly sorry. I don't know what came over me.
SAVILLE: A pus-filled c.ck, I imagine. (Shocked audience laugh)
MERTON: Oh, it's nice to see you joining in. We'd been waiting for you, you sad senile old ***. (Audience appears to do double-take)
DEAYTON: I think we...d-d-you you want to apologise to our guest, Paul?
MERTON: Sorry, I do apologise. Sir senile old ***, is what I meant to say.
(Audience laugh; pause) Sir senile old ***...who f-cks minors.
(Audience unrest)
HISLOP: Sorry, I'm just looking at our lawyer again. (Waves) Hello!
(Audience laughs)
DEAYTON: Shall we get back on course with this, or sha...
SAVILLE: I do f-ck miners, that's quite correct. I have always done so. They can do the most wonderful things with cigars. The coal...
MERTON: What, they stick them up your senile, pus-filled arse?
(Audience laughs)
FLOOR MANAGER: (OOV): Come on...I'm getting an ear-bashing here. It's...
MERTON: Oh they want to continue. Sorry, I'll contain myself. Carry on...
DEAYTON: Right (Pause) You used to be a professional wrestler didn't you?
(Huge audience laugh)
SAVILLE: (Calmly) I did.
DEAYTON: You didn't have a nickname or anything?
SAVILLE: Yes - 'Loser'. (Audience laughs)
___________________________________

[poosils]

So Jimmy Saville`s dead. I can`t say im sorry. My life was never the same after he fixed it for me to go camping with Gary Glitter!

[poosils]

Jimmy Saville's death is now being linked to a biochemical attack by Islamic Fundamentalists...
Jamal fixed it...

[Canary42]

A vulnerable young child ?

Jim'll fxxx it.

[nailit]

I bet jimmy saville got the right hump when kids wrote in asking him to fix it for them to meet gary glitter

[squarebear]

DT is that transcript genuine?

[Postdog]

No it's a fake.

[Postdog]

After Jimmy Saville there is more Scandal for the BBC as someone has reported seeing Rod Hull Budgeting For the Credit Crunch a young bird !

[Postdog]

Ooh I like the auto censor on that one!!

[shoota]

I've just touched my other half up.......
Told her I was training to be a DJ.

[maggiebee]

DTC - what can I say?? Can I watch it on the iplayer?

[DTCwordfan]

where's your evidence, postdog, as googling the text suggests that it was real and then cut out for obvious reasons. True it was never shown.

[Psybbo]

DT is that real?

[Psybbo]

And then Angus was humiliated?

[Postdog]

I did google it the other day and also years ago. As with the allegations themselves against him, there is no conclusive proof either way and there are discrepancies regarding the structure of this claim.