So Tell Me
"So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "do you have any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?"
"Well, actually, yes," said the applicant modestly. "Last year I had two short stories published in national magazines, and I also finished my novel."
"Very impressive," commented the interviewer, "but I was thinking of skills you could apply during office hours."
Mrs. Smith explained brightly, "Oh that was during office hours."
Son: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father: No. Why do you ask that?
Son: Well, where did you get mummy then?
A big, burly man visited his pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.
"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father of the family is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to £400."
"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?"
They sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm the landlord," he sobbed.
A Dutch visitor to the States was chatting with an American friend and was jokingly explaining about the Red, White and Blue of Netherland's Flag:
"You see, our flag symbolises our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"Hey, that’s the same with us," replied the American, "only we see stars too."