Crosswords1 min ago
Doctor
I said to my Doctor, "I've become a can of deodorant."
He said, "Are you sure?"
I replied, "No, I'm Lynx."
"Doctor, doctor, I've got problems with my hearing."
"What are the symptoms?"
"They're those yellow people on TV."
Yesterday I told my doctor that I kept thinking that I was Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck, and he said, "How long have you been having these Disney spells?"
A man goes to see the Doctor and says, "Doc, I feel as lifeless as a Welsh resort in winter."
The doctor replies, "Goodness me, it sounds like you're Rhyl."
I walked past my Doctor's surgery today and he's put a new sign in the window.
It says "Call into our surgery today, we offer top a quality service - you'll never get better!"
I didn't know what to make of that.
I went to the doctor's the other week and said "You've got to help me out...I'm 28yrs old, losing all my hair and I've developed a liking for lollipops!"
He said "Sounds like you're suffering from premature kojakulation."
My doctor told me to take some genteel exercise, so this morning I've been sipping Pimms in a punt.
I went to the doctors today as I was feeling really under the weather.
My doctor took one look at me and said "Take off all your clothes"
He then proceeded to rub a thick layer of salt over my skin and then pumped smoke from a machine over my entire body.
I don’t know what he did but I think that I’m cured.
I went to see a shrink this morning
I came back 3 feet 6.
I rang the Surgeons Direct helpline this morning.
All of their operators were busy.
He said, "Are you sure?"
I replied, "No, I'm Lynx."
"Doctor, doctor, I've got problems with my hearing."
"What are the symptoms?"
"They're those yellow people on TV."
Yesterday I told my doctor that I kept thinking that I was Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck, and he said, "How long have you been having these Disney spells?"
A man goes to see the Doctor and says, "Doc, I feel as lifeless as a Welsh resort in winter."
The doctor replies, "Goodness me, it sounds like you're Rhyl."
I walked past my Doctor's surgery today and he's put a new sign in the window.
It says "Call into our surgery today, we offer top a quality service - you'll never get better!"
I didn't know what to make of that.
I went to the doctor's the other week and said "You've got to help me out...I'm 28yrs old, losing all my hair and I've developed a liking for lollipops!"
He said "Sounds like you're suffering from premature kojakulation."
My doctor told me to take some genteel exercise, so this morning I've been sipping Pimms in a punt.
I went to the doctors today as I was feeling really under the weather.
My doctor took one look at me and said "Take off all your clothes"
He then proceeded to rub a thick layer of salt over my skin and then pumped smoke from a machine over my entire body.
I don’t know what he did but I think that I’m cured.
I went to see a shrink this morning
I came back 3 feet 6.
I rang the Surgeons Direct helpline this morning.
All of their operators were busy.
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