Society & Culture0 min ago
Bored Obstetrician
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I am two months pregnant now, when will my baby move?
A: With any luck right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and sometimes is so moody that she's borderline irrational.
A: So, what's the question?
Q: My midwife says it's not pain I'll feel during labour but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word alimony means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids go to college.
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I am two months pregnant now, when will my baby move?
A: With any luck right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and sometimes is so moody that she's borderline irrational.
A: So, what's the question?
Q: My midwife says it's not pain I'll feel during labour but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word alimony means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids go to college.
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