The Librarian.............

[Shaglene]

A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the librarian, 'Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?'
To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says, 'Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!'

[viv41]

Good 'un !

[EDDIE51]

Reminds me of the story about a library that decided to keep the books about sex 'under the counter' to stop kids sniggering at them.
They put up a sign where that category should have been found reading
'' For sex, please ask the librarian !''