Girlfriend

[Berniecuddles2]

My girlfriend said she's leaving me for another guy because I'm too obsessed with football.

So I asked "on loan or transfer"?

[Zacs-Master]

Ooof. You're off side with that remark and will undoubtedly pay the penalty. Doubt if you'll score tonight.

[Berniecuddles2]

wrong time off the month zacs...red card lol

[Zacs-Master]

Nice.

[Berniecuddles2]

no hope ed removes it...please

[Hopkirk]

She sounds like she's a bit of a player.

[Berniecuddles2]

she always scored

[Hopkirk]

How did you two get together, did you make a pass?

[Patsy33]

I don't think she could put up with the dribbling....

[Berniecuddles2]

yes ..but she was a bit offside to start with

[Hopkirk]

She probably felt she had to make the move today, it's deadline day.

[1ozzy]

And you were thinking you might score Bernie?

Maybe you should be penalised for a hand ball ;-/

[Patsy33]

I expect you'll be glad to see the back of Annette... (That was her name wasn't it?)

[Berniecuddles2]

LOL you scored with that one patsy

[Hopkirk]

She told me you were difficult to live with because you kept moving the goalposts

[Berniecuddles2]

had a big row told her to stand in the corner

[Patsy33]

This is a long shot but do you think she'll come back kicking and screaming?

[Berniecuddles2]

if she does i'll substitute her!

[Patsy33]

She'll be on the attack!

[Berniecuddles2]

aaahhh but in my defence......

[Hopkirk]

I don't think she was happy that you wanted her to take her top off when celebrating.